Research, research and more Research. So very frightened. My husband is having his bone marrow biopsy next Wednesday, October 1st, and meeting with him on the 22nd to discuss results. Our initial visit with our oncologist yesterday was encouraging (as I described here).
My husband's calcium level is good, he does have some mild renal failure (possibly from an earlier illness ), not anemic, very small lesions on arms between wrists and elbows, very few, and not symptons.
Sounds good, so why am I so frightened? Someone please help , I believe I am going to loose my mind worrying with this.
Forums
Re: I'm Scared
Hi Mildred.
I thought Tom Shell did a good job of describing his initial reaction when first diagnosed. If you go to the home page you will see his story or here is a link.
Tom Shell, "Myeloma In Paradise: Diagnosis Is Its Own Disease," The Myeloma Beacon, September 9, 2014
He describes the emotions most of us felt about the diagnosis, treatments and unknown future. You might find it encouraging because most of us know exactly how you feel.
Cathy
I thought Tom Shell did a good job of describing his initial reaction when first diagnosed. If you go to the home page you will see his story or here is a link.
Tom Shell, "Myeloma In Paradise: Diagnosis Is Its Own Disease," The Myeloma Beacon, September 9, 2014
He describes the emotions most of us felt about the diagnosis, treatments and unknown future. You might find it encouraging because most of us know exactly how you feel.
Cathy
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antelope1225 - Name: Cathy1225
- Who do you know with myeloma?: Myself
- When were you/they diagnosed?: May 25 2012
- Age at diagnosis: 55
Re: I'm Scared
Hi Mildred. Anytime the "cancer" word is used, it's scary. It's ok to be scared. And it's ok to wallow a bit if your husband does have myeloma. But not too much, because he will need your positive energy and support.
Most of us who have this disease have come to terms with it. As you've seen from reading various posts, the people who participate in the Myeloma Beacon are dealing with varying degrees of myeloma -- from MGUS to smoldering to full blown active disease -- and different levels of disease and disease-caused damage. We have all learned about the treatments, been encouraged by the amazing degree of research going on right now, and supported one another. We can't be cured yet, but we sure can get to remission or very close to it, adapt to our new normal, and go on with our lives.
Wishing your husband good test results next week.
Dana A
Most of us who have this disease have come to terms with it. As you've seen from reading various posts, the people who participate in the Myeloma Beacon are dealing with varying degrees of myeloma -- from MGUS to smoldering to full blown active disease -- and different levels of disease and disease-caused damage. We have all learned about the treatments, been encouraged by the amazing degree of research going on right now, and supported one another. We can't be cured yet, but we sure can get to remission or very close to it, adapt to our new normal, and go on with our lives.
Wishing your husband good test results next week.
Dana A
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darnold - Name: Dana Arnold
- Who do you know with myeloma?: self
- When were you/they diagnosed?: May 2009
- Age at diagnosis: 52
Re: I'm Scared
Hi Mildred,
I so completely understand what you're going through. Three years ago, my husband was diagnosed with active multiple myeloma the day before our 37th anniversary. 83-85% bone marrow involvement (bone marrow plasma cell percentage), multiple lesions in his arms, legs, and skull, and anemia. Reading whatever I could find on the Internet scared me to death. I wondered how I could manage without him, and I don't mean in the financial sense. Very dark and scary thoughts sometimes. And then having to tell our adult children, siblings, and parents brought it all to the surface over and over again.
All I can suggest is to hold onto the positive thoughts many Beacon readers are sending your way. Try to have a positive mindset that your husband WILL get the treatment he needs and will thrive. Join a support group or get counseling, and occasionally let yourself have a good cry -- just be sure to keep it together around your husband. If he senses your fears and worry, he'll be spending his energy on trying to help you feel better when he's going to need to focus on fighting the disease.
You'll eventually get accustomed to having a third partner in your marriage -- multiple myeloma. Sometimes it will be a silent partner, and you'll hardly notice it's presence. Other times you'll be more aware of it. But you will get accustomed to having it around, for better or worse ...
I'll be thinking of you and hoping for the best for you both.
Chris M.
I so completely understand what you're going through. Three years ago, my husband was diagnosed with active multiple myeloma the day before our 37th anniversary. 83-85% bone marrow involvement (bone marrow plasma cell percentage), multiple lesions in his arms, legs, and skull, and anemia. Reading whatever I could find on the Internet scared me to death. I wondered how I could manage without him, and I don't mean in the financial sense. Very dark and scary thoughts sometimes. And then having to tell our adult children, siblings, and parents brought it all to the surface over and over again.
All I can suggest is to hold onto the positive thoughts many Beacon readers are sending your way. Try to have a positive mindset that your husband WILL get the treatment he needs and will thrive. Join a support group or get counseling, and occasionally let yourself have a good cry -- just be sure to keep it together around your husband. If he senses your fears and worry, he'll be spending his energy on trying to help you feel better when he's going to need to focus on fighting the disease.
You'll eventually get accustomed to having a third partner in your marriage -- multiple myeloma. Sometimes it will be a silent partner, and you'll hardly notice it's presence. Other times you'll be more aware of it. But you will get accustomed to having it around, for better or worse ...
I'll be thinking of you and hoping for the best for you both.
Chris M.
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Chris M.
Re: I'm Scared
I haven't much to add except to say, I will keep you and your husband in my thoughts and wishes for the best of health. We are so fortunate to live now because there are so many advancements in the diagnosis and treatment of multiple myeloma.
And know that you are not alone! There are so many here who have walked the very same path as you and have found a way through it. Take some time to do some relaxation, meditate, pray, whatever helps you when you are in times of great stress. Try to do some "normal" things so as not to focus so much on what "could" be rather than what you know as of this moment.
Hang in there!
And know that you are not alone! There are so many here who have walked the very same path as you and have found a way through it. Take some time to do some relaxation, meditate, pray, whatever helps you when you are in times of great stress. Try to do some "normal" things so as not to focus so much on what "could" be rather than what you know as of this moment.
Hang in there!
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Toni - Name: Toni
- Who do you know with myeloma?: self - MGUS
- When were you/they diagnosed?: April 2014
- Age at diagnosis: 51
Re: I'm Scared
I forgot to add, be careful of what you find during your research and don't assume the statistics apply today! So much information is outdated due to rapid advances in new treatments during the last few years. And, your husband will benefit from the advances in treatment.
Best wishes,
Chris M.
Best wishes,
Chris M.
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Chris M.
Re: I'm Scared
Chris M wrote:
Couldn't agree more.
I forgot to add, be careful of what you find during your research and don't assume the statistics apply today! So much information is outdated due to rapid advances in new treatments during the last few years. And, your husband will benefit from the advances in treatment.
Couldn't agree more.
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Wayne K - Name: Wayne
- Who do you know with myeloma?: Myself, my sister who passed in '95
- When were you/they diagnosed?: 03/09
- Age at diagnosis: 70
Re: I'm Scared
Confusing, waiting for BMB this week on my husband, how do you people handle this, I am a nervous wreck. Let me ask ya'll something please, my husband is 69 and in perfect health, or at least we thought! When we went to the oncologist/hematologist he was so laid back even said husband could have had this in his system for decades......CRABS...Calcium was fine, Renal failure , some but praying this is from the Ibuprofen he took after knee surgery because he could not tolerate the Loratab, he did this last summer also and his kidney got better after he quit the Ibuprofen, Anemia- none, Bones, Dr. said he had some small lyptic ( sorry all these terms are confusing ) on his arms between his wrists and elbows, no symptoms=no bone pain anywhere, no fatigue, no loss of appetite, no weight loss......help what do you people think who have been here ....
Re: I'm Scared
It is very scary, especially at this point in the process, I know. All you can do is take a deep breath and know that your husband is in pretty darned good shape, if what you tell us is accurate.
Multiple myeloma is a sneaky critter, but they have so much going on for us in terms of treatment options that, well, while I can't promise that what you and your husband are facing is chocolate and roses, the news can still be pretty positive.
Multiple myeloma is a sneaky critter, but they have so much going on for us in terms of treatment options that, well, while I can't promise that what you and your husband are facing is chocolate and roses, the news can still be pretty positive.
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dianaiad - Who do you know with myeloma?: Me
- When were you/they diagnosed?: Officially...March 2013
- Age at diagnosis: 63
Re: I'm Scared
How do you people do this, waiting. My husband had his BMB October 1st and our appointment is not until October 22nd, the Dr. said if he got any preliminary reports he would call, I wan to get this show on the road! My anxiety is about to due me in, please someone help with advice...please I have posted several posts but it seems that no on is responding, yes perhaps a pity party but I need some words here.....
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