Hi Paul53
You can keep the antidepressants in mind, and it is often wise to talk through your feelings with people (professional counselor, oncologist and a good friend) but grieving is a process. It has been about 30 months since I was diagnosed and a little over 2 years since my SCT so I am just farther on the path than you.
Like Ginny said, you will come out of the tunnel.
A helpful book is called "Recovering from the Losses of Life" by H Norman Wright. It might be out of print, but you might be able to get in on Amazon.
He shows a deep U shape with emotions on the left side as you are first dealing with the loss: shock, numbness, denial, emotional outbursts, anger, fear, searching, disorganization.
At the bottom he has: panic, guilt, loneliness, isolation, depression
As you are moving out of it - on the right side is : re-entry troubles, new relationships, new strengths, new patterns, hope, affirmation, helping others.
You can see that guilt is at the bottom - you are moving through this. And you will turn around and help others once you get through this.
I hope you have a nice Christmas.
Cathy
Forums
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antelope1225 - Name: Cathy1225
- Who do you know with myeloma?: Myself
- When were you/they diagnosed?: May 25 2012
- Age at diagnosis: 55
Re: Feeling like an emotional time bomb
I was researching myeloma after my friend and fellow Christian was diagnosed last week.
He has been Type 2 diabetic for years.
I googled "myeloma diabetes" and came up with this article:
ZA Issa et al., "Multiple Myeloma and Diabetes," ISRN Endocrinology 2011 (full text at PubMed)
Also found this discussion here:
"Type 2 Diabetes and Multiple Myeloma," Beacon forum discussion started June 5, 2012.
This led me to this thread on emotions and myeloma.
I have long felt that there is a relationship of emotions to myeloma pre-dating the diagnosis and treatment.
A friend of mine died at age 19 in a tragic motorcycle accident. His mother later developed myeloma
I have had interest in "psychosomatics" since medical school. I also value a holistic approach. Part of this has included negativity about most medical treatment – surgery, radiation, chemo and other drugs.
Thanks for this forum and thread.
He has been Type 2 diabetic for years.
I googled "myeloma diabetes" and came up with this article:
ZA Issa et al., "Multiple Myeloma and Diabetes," ISRN Endocrinology 2011 (full text at PubMed)
Also found this discussion here:
"Type 2 Diabetes and Multiple Myeloma," Beacon forum discussion started June 5, 2012.
This led me to this thread on emotions and myeloma.
I have long felt that there is a relationship of emotions to myeloma pre-dating the diagnosis and treatment.
A friend of mine died at age 19 in a tragic motorcycle accident. His mother later developed myeloma
I have had interest in "psychosomatics" since medical school. I also value a holistic approach. Part of this has included negativity about most medical treatment – surgery, radiation, chemo and other drugs.
Thanks for this forum and thread.
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Lawrence C. Valin - Name: Lawrence
- Who do you know with myeloma?: Wayne Alvestad
- When were you/they diagnosed?: Last week 12/16/14
- Age at diagnosis: 83
Re: Feeling like an emotional time bomb
Like others have indicated, the first 6 months or so were the worst for me, and while it did get better, the emotional toll has never completely gone away (how can it when you're dealing with an issue like cancer). Everyone has been giving you some great suggestions, here are a few more I found really helped (the 2nd and 3rd were suggested to me by other Beacon contributors):
Good luck.
- Find an activity you enjoy that gets your mind off the cancer and do it regularly (mine is biking).
- It's OK to take some time each day to deal with your cancer. Cry, yell, pray, research - whatever works, then try to keep the rest of the day cancer free.
- Try and do at least on fun thing each week. Since my diagnosis, my wife an I have held very strongly to this. We may go out to eat, go hiking or biking, go to the symphony or a play, take a garden tour, you name it - whatever is enjoyable for you.
Good luck.
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Kevin J - Name: Kevin J
- Who do you know with myeloma?: myself
- When were you/they diagnosed?: Jan 2011
- Age at diagnosis: 52
Re: Feeling like an emotional time bomb
Hey, nice picture, Kevin!
I just took my avatar off because I Googled "Ketogenic Diet Forum" and up popped my picture!
I don't mind having others on the Myeloma Beacon site see who I am, but I felt uncomfortable about it going out to the general population.
I will try some of your ideas to focus on fun and limit amount of time thinking about cancer.
I just took my avatar off because I Googled "Ketogenic Diet Forum" and up popped my picture!
I don't mind having others on the Myeloma Beacon site see who I am, but I felt uncomfortable about it going out to the general population.
I will try some of your ideas to focus on fun and limit amount of time thinking about cancer.
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antelope1225 - Name: Cathy1225
- Who do you know with myeloma?: Myself
- When were you/they diagnosed?: May 25 2012
- Age at diagnosis: 55
Re: Feeling like an emotional time bomb
Hi Dr. Valin.
Thank you for the links to the pubmed article on Diabetes and multiple myeloma. I was diagnosed Stage 3 multiple myeloma in May 2012 and had a Stem Cell Transplant (bone marrow transplant) in November 2012.
I completely agree with you on many points.
1. I was also under a lot of stress in the 2 years before I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. My mother's health was failing and my father was about to break his back taking care of her. I was the only daughter in town and I did a lot for them - but never enough and they would not hire nursing help. Finally, my mother went into a nursing home in Feb 2011 - and my annual blood work March 2011 showed that my kidney function was declining seriously, but I was so distracted with my parents problems that I ignored that for another year. Stress causes a rise in cortisone - and I think that affects a person's blood glucose level. Eric's suggestions seem to focus on reducing stress.
2. A Diabetic responds to carbohydrates with wild swings in blood glucose and insulin - both of which seem to stimulate cancer growth. So, it makes sense to me that Diabetics would have higher blood glucose and that would predispose us to cancer.
3. Since you are new to the forum, you probably have not found the thread about ketogenic diets but that has been one of my favorite avenues of research about fighting multiple myeloma. I look things up on pubmed regularly and have included links to studies there.
4. I had wonderful initial results from eating a low carb/ ketogenic diet. I was in "normal" range in kappa free light chains for 3 months this last summer (I had not gone into remission from SCT so this was really amazing). Unfortunately, my numbers came up a bit in November - but I redoubled my efforts to research and fine tune my diet. I will know my latest numbers Dec 29th.
5. I am a Christian and my faith is an incredible source of peace - but I still had to walk through the devastating emotional valley of being diagnosed with incurable cancer. I think of that 8 months of deep grieving as steps of healing like a scar forming on an open wound.
Cathy
Thank you for the links to the pubmed article on Diabetes and multiple myeloma. I was diagnosed Stage 3 multiple myeloma in May 2012 and had a Stem Cell Transplant (bone marrow transplant) in November 2012.
I completely agree with you on many points.
1. I was also under a lot of stress in the 2 years before I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. My mother's health was failing and my father was about to break his back taking care of her. I was the only daughter in town and I did a lot for them - but never enough and they would not hire nursing help. Finally, my mother went into a nursing home in Feb 2011 - and my annual blood work March 2011 showed that my kidney function was declining seriously, but I was so distracted with my parents problems that I ignored that for another year. Stress causes a rise in cortisone - and I think that affects a person's blood glucose level. Eric's suggestions seem to focus on reducing stress.
2. A Diabetic responds to carbohydrates with wild swings in blood glucose and insulin - both of which seem to stimulate cancer growth. So, it makes sense to me that Diabetics would have higher blood glucose and that would predispose us to cancer.
3. Since you are new to the forum, you probably have not found the thread about ketogenic diets but that has been one of my favorite avenues of research about fighting multiple myeloma. I look things up on pubmed regularly and have included links to studies there.
4. I had wonderful initial results from eating a low carb/ ketogenic diet. I was in "normal" range in kappa free light chains for 3 months this last summer (I had not gone into remission from SCT so this was really amazing). Unfortunately, my numbers came up a bit in November - but I redoubled my efforts to research and fine tune my diet. I will know my latest numbers Dec 29th.
5. I am a Christian and my faith is an incredible source of peace - but I still had to walk through the devastating emotional valley of being diagnosed with incurable cancer. I think of that 8 months of deep grieving as steps of healing like a scar forming on an open wound.
Cathy
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antelope1225 - Name: Cathy1225
- Who do you know with myeloma?: Myself
- When were you/they diagnosed?: May 25 2012
- Age at diagnosis: 55
Re: Feeling like an emotional time bomb
The first year after my husband was diagnosed, I kept a diary. We did go through the grieving process and the diary helped. Also, I cried every time someone asked about my husband.
Well, here we are in our 4th year on this myeloma journey. We have found life is still a blessing, we still love and argue. We still travel, twice to Europe, Mexico, Canada.
We have a new doctor, new drugs and look forward to a cure for cancer! Our biggest strength, our faith, hope and joy.
No one knows when their life his/her life is over!
Blessings during this wonderful season!
Well, here we are in our 4th year on this myeloma journey. We have found life is still a blessing, we still love and argue. We still travel, twice to Europe, Mexico, Canada.
We have a new doctor, new drugs and look forward to a cure for cancer! Our biggest strength, our faith, hope and joy.
No one knows when their life his/her life is over!
Blessings during this wonderful season!
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Plma
Re: Feeling like an emotional time bomb
What a wonderful post, Pima!
I love your attitude. Have a happy new year.
Cathy
I love your attitude. Have a happy new year.
Cathy
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antelope1225 - Name: Cathy1225
- Who do you know with myeloma?: Myself
- When were you/they diagnosed?: May 25 2012
- Age at diagnosis: 55
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