Phil Brabbs, a software product manager and former kicker for the University of Michigan football team, was diagnosed with smoldering multiple myeloma the day after his 28th birthday. “At 28, looking at my son who was two, you think, ‘Will this kid ever remember me?’ It was really frightening,” he said.

“To get a cancer diagnosis when it seems like you’re doing everything right – you don’t smoke, you drink modestly, you exercise – it was quite shocking. But I don’t think it took more than a week or two for me to actually start realizing that we’re going to move beyond this, there’s a purpose in this, and we just have to figure out what it is.”

He and his wife Cassie began their research. They got advice from a friend in medical school and began searching for information online. “The blogs are phenomenal because you get the personal story, and it’s so much easier to connect with their words than with the oncologist. The oncologist will start talking, and all you hear is ‘wah wah wah.’”

The couple started their own blog called “Multiple Myeloma For Dummies” as a way of sharing the information they were learning about myeloma with their friends and family. “We felt like we didn’t know anything about multiple myeloma, so we started MM For Dummies to educate our family and friends. We knew it was a long journey, and we knew that as we were learning, we had to pass that information on to family and friends so that they could be comforted and feel like they were in the know.”

Brabbs considers himself fortunate that he did not require treatment until 15 months after his diagnosis, giving him and his wife time to learn about multiple myeloma, get a second medical opinion, seek advice from others living with myeloma, and reach out to helpful medical staff.

“I didn’t know about multiple myeloma before my diagnosis – like everyone else in the world. The health care system can be pretty intimidating, especially when you’re talking cancer because you expect your oncologist to know everything. [However,] I recommend people educate themselves on what’s out there.”

Because of Brabbs’s young age, he agreed with his oncologist that the five-year survival rate associated with myeloma was “just not good enough” and decided to pursue an aggressive line of treatment. His philosophy is to “dominate life and to grab it by the horns,” and he plans to do the same with his myeloma.

Brabbs is currently participating in a clinical trial at the University of Michigan that is combining Revlimid (lenalidomide), Velcade (bortezomib), dexamethasone (Decadron), and Doxil (doxorubicin liposomal). He recently completed his fifth round of chemotherapy and has achieved a good partial response. In round six, he hopes to reach a very good partial response before proceeding with the first of two stem cell transplants.

During recovery from his first stem cell transplant, which is due to take place in February or March, Brabbs hopes to begin a nonprofit program, Cancer Kicker, to raise awareness of and research funds for multiple myeloma.

Brabbs currently lives in Ann Arbor, Michigan, with his wife, two small children, and a baby girl on the way. He believes that living with cancer has enabled him to put things in perspective. “I think a lot of people are stressed out at their job, in their marriage, and with their kids. Cancer is a burden that is so much bigger than all that stuff that you’re actually able to drop everything and say, ‘I need to get perspective because if I’m gone tomorrow, am I going to be satisfied that I was yelling at my kids today or in a job that I don’t like?’ Cancer has allowed me to step back and have grace for myself and hopefully more grace for others as well.”

Based on his domination over myeloma, Brabbs has plenty of good advice for other myeloma patients. “I encourage them to be involved in the health care process. Don’t just take drugs because that’s what the doctor is saying. Understand, if you have the capacity, what’s going on, what the drugs are trying to do, what a transplant is, and what a tandem [transplant] could do.”

He also passed along advice that he found especially helpful from a gentleman in remission: “Be real with your emotions. When you’re sad, be sad. When you’re angry, be angry. When you’re furious, be furious. When you’re happy, be happy. When you want to laugh, laugh. Whatever you’re feeling, it’s okay. Especially when you’re newly diagnosed, there are so many thoughts and emotions running through your body that it’s hard to control. So don’t. Let it go.”

Brabbs also stressed the importance of combating physical sickness with mental and emotional health by leaning on a “support staff – whether it’s your faith, your family, your friends, or a combination of those.”

And “Keep dominating!”

If you are interested in sharing your myeloma story, please email us at . We would be happy to hear from myeloma patients, caregivers, and health care providers.