Myeloma Rocket Scientist: Apollo 8 Versus Apollo 13
Since it’s nearly the holidays, I’m sure that the story of Apollo 8 is on everyone’s mind.
Well, perhaps not.
Apollo 8 was the first manned mission to leave Earth orbit and fly to the moon, orbiting it on Christmas Eve 1968. The crew broadcast back live TV views of the lunar surface from close up. If you were a young space fan at the time, it was tremendously exciting and felt like an epochal moment in history.
For the first time, mankind had learned how to leave home and go explore. Many Apollo veterans have said that they found the Apollo 8 mission more significant than the Apollo 11 moon landing seven months later. It also provided an uplifting end to an otherwise grim year, marked by unrest in Europe and the U.S. and the assassinations of Martin Luther King, Jr. and Robert Kennedy.
Apollo 8 is remembered as a triumph, and deservedly so. However, when examined in the light of what happened to Apollo 13 a little over a year later, it becomes clear that it could easily have become a disaster.
Apollo 8 was originally intended to perform the first test of the so called lunar module, the lander portion of the Apollo spacecraft, in Earth orbit. However, the development of this lander fell behind schedule. Since this era was the height of the Space Race and the Soviets were rumored to be about to launch a lunar mission of their own, NASA could not afford to wait for the lander to be ready. Instead, in a bold move, it was decided to have Apollo 8 orbit the moon without a lunar module. The crew flew in the command module reentry craft, attached only to its service module that was equipped with rockets, oxygen tanks, antennas, and other equipment.
On Apollo 13 one of these oxygen tanks exploded, causing all of the spacecraft’s oxygen supply to be vented into space and crippling the power and life support systems. The crew was in extreme danger and, in a story that is familiar from the film Apollo 13, only survived because they were able to use their attached lunar module as a “lifeboat.” If Apollo 8 had had the same type of oxygen tank explosion, the crew would not have had this option for survival and the mission would have been a disaster.
So, what does this have to do with myeloma?
In 2008, I was on what felt like the cusp of an Apollo 8-style success versus an Apollo-8-with-a-blown-tank-style failure.
Let me explain.
After my diagnosis, induction therapy, and stem cell transplant, I started back at my job as a professor of aerospace engineering, teaching the same courses as before I had become sick.
Strangely, at that point I got what definitely seemed to me to be genuine depression. This surprised me, as I was back to feeling physically more-or-less “normal.” However, I have read that it is not all that uncommon to have these kinds of feelings after going through a critical illness.
I realized at that point that I really had to make some sort of a change. In particular, I knew I needed to change jobs, even though I would be uprooting my family from our friends and neighbors. I was lucky that a position shortly came up at NASA that piqued my interest. As soon as I started the application process for this job, my depression lifted.
When the formal job offer from NASA came through, I was definitely inclined to accept it. However, there were some practical issues that made me fear that I could be making a bad decision. For instance, I had accumulated a great deal of sick leave at the university, and would be restarting with essentially zero leave at the new job. Also, a faculty position is quite flexible, allowing you to adjust your schedule if there are days of the week when you can’t work. I had done this while waiting for my transplant. I rearranged my classes to avoid teaching Mondays and Tuesdays, when my dex schedule made me feel like I had the flu.
I would be giving up all of these advantages, which would only pay off if I had an extended period of good health on the new job and actually enjoyed the new job.
What worried me the most was that I was just coming through a series of rather eventful Marches: in March 2006, I was diagnosed; in March 2007, I was over my stem cell transplant; and in March 2008, I was starting work at NASA. What if I relapsed in March 2009?
It felt like I was on the cusp of an Apollo 8-style success if I took the new job at NASA and stayed healthy versus an Apollo-8-with-a-blown-tank-style failure if I took the new job at NASA and relapsed soon thereafter.
I know we all face decisions like this in the course of our disease. The reason I finally made the move to NASA was that staying in academia began to only seem to make sense if I could make use of all that sick leave. It felt uncomfortably like waiting to get sick again.
Fortunately, all went well with the move. However, it could just as easily have been a bad mistake if I had relapsed early. There can definitely be a thin line between “bold” and “foolhardy;” no matter how carefully you weigh the pros and cons, luck plays a role.
When Apollo 8 reappeared from behind the moon after their scheduled “trans-Earth injection” rocket firing in December 1968, James Lovell (the only astronaut to fly on both the Apollo 8 and Apollo 13 missions) had the task of reporting to the ground how things went. They would either be on their way back to Earth, if the firing was successful, or stuck forever in lunar orbit, if it was not.
As we all know, it worked. Lovell's report, in its entirety, was: “Please be informed, there is a Santa Claus.”
Happy holidays!
What a great column! I can relate very well to your situation at diagnosis. Although I was much older at diagnosis (59), I have been in a bad work situation for awhile, but was putting off making a move mostly because of my age. Like you, I had a very good response to therapy and stem cell transplant, and feel pretty normal, most days. So, I have decided (at age 60) to make a change in my work life. I am a consultant, so it is a bit easier for me to make a move. Although I will be doing the same thing, the environment and people will be different. I am hoping it helps with this niggling depression I have been fighting. It was either that or retire, and I don't think I am ready yet. As a consultant, I have the advantage of creating my own schedule, so it will be an even easier transition that I am sure yours was.
I remember so well the Apollo missions ... and before that the Gemini excursions! They were groundbreaking and so exciting! It makes me sad that the younger generation does not have something (other than computers and smart phones!) that are like that. It seems to me that the space missions are stalled. Lots of money for other things, it seems, but not that!
I hope your good health and work life continue on a positive trajectory!
Trevor, thanks for the interesting column and your insights into NASA and the Apollo space missions. 1968 was a pivotal and in many cases tragic year on the world stage, and since by then most people had TV's, the news was full of images from near and far, some of them very disturbing. That was the year that I graduated high school, actually. Have you read the book, '1968 - The Year that Rocked the World', by Mark Kurlansky, which goes through the events that happened in just one year. It was very heartening that at least that 1968 could end on the amazing news of astronauts circling the moon....'please be informed, there is a Santa Claus'...!
Hello Trevor: As a rocket scientist, I definitely think that NASA is the place to be. My first job was testing aircraft engines (gas turbines) in a Navy Lab (as a civilian). I had an informal offer to go to NASA Lewis (now NASA Glenn). I had worked a little with a couple of groups there, and they thought I might fit in. As a newly married young engineer in New Jersy, I did not want to uproot ourselves at that time, but I knew that I would always ponder that situation. Although I won't say it was a big regret (or really a regret at all), my career moved out of aerospace, and that opportunity was to never resurface again. I always felt that it would be a very big thing to have "NASA" on the resume, no matter what you have done there. I hope the work continues to go well for many years. Good luck
Ellen, I really enjoyed your comments. Not only do our myeloma experiences have so much in common, but you actually mentioned Gemini! Gemini was a tremendous series of missions, where they made great strides in techniques for spacewalking, orbital rendezvous and docking, and just living in space, but it now seems to be largely forgotten. It is a shame that there’s nothing quite like that going on these days. On a more positive note, the amazing recent progress in biology and medicine sometimes seems to me to be the modern day equivalent of the Space Race. This is definitely good news for myeloma patients like us.
Nancy, thank you for the tip about the book concerning the events of 1968. I have never seen it, but am going to try to get hold of it. My family lived in France that year, and one indelible memory I have is of my trip to school on the day after a riot and passing a policeman who was armed with a submachine gun. After such a rough year, it’s maybe not surprising that one of the astronauts received a telegram from a stranger after the flight reading "Thank you Apollo 8. You saved 1968.” Happy holidays to you and Dilip!
JPC, I’ve worked a little with groups at NASA Glenn (Lewis as was), although I’m not a propulsion person (despite the “rocket scientist” label). There are some really good people there. The funny thing about me working at NASA is that it somehow took me until I was 53 to get a permanent job there! I’m sure that the younger version of me who watched the flight of Apollo 8 with such interest assumed that I would end up at NASA someday, but not at what would have seemed to me then to be such an incredibly old age. But better late than never.
Thanks Trevor. I just wanted to share that because of reading your column I looked up what is new with NASA and they have just published a beautiful new photo of an "earth rise" from this year.
The 'earth rise' photo from 1968 is also referenced in this NASA press release about the new photo. I remember seeing posters of that, which were very popular for years.
Nancy – Thanks for the link to the new Earthrise photo. Incredible!
Trevor, I did think that was a really uncanny coincidence that so many years later, the second 'earth rise' photo was produced, just this year. Another series of great photos we enjoyed are the ones from the Hubble Space Telescope. We had a 2015 calendar showing those! Happy holidays and Happy New Year 2016!
Thanks for another interesting column, Trevor. I appreciate the way you wove the engaging story of Apollo 8 and 13 into the the recounting of your myeloma experience. Very nicely done!
Cheryl, Thanks! I often think of things in terms of something that happened to some spacecraft or other. Hence a phrase that my family is all too familiar with: "That reminds me of a space story...".