Myeloma Mom: It’s Fine To Be 39
I just turned 39 last month. Thirty-nine is not a nice, round number. A person’s 39th isn’t traditionally considered a “milestone” birthday. You don’t see Hallmark cards or mylar balloons with a giant “39” on the front.
When you’re 39, nobody puts up funny signs with poems on them like they do when you’re 40. You know: “Lordy, lordy, so-and-so is 40.” What would it be for 39? “It’s fine. It’s fine. Karen is 39.”
See? Nobody wants to see a 39 sign in your yard.
You don’t even get to rhyme with “nifty” the way 50-year-olds do. I’m so jealous.
I figure, though, when you have myeloma, every birthday is a milestone birthday.
I decided I was going to mark my 39th birthday by participating in something called the Heartland 39.3 Series. This is a series of three half marathons, a total of 39.3 miles, run over four weeks in April and May in the Kansas City area.
When I signed up for this last September, it seemed like a great idea. It seemed like maybe the most fabulous idea ever.
When April rolled around and I actually had to show up at these races and run 39.3 miles, it seemed, well, slightly less fabulous. I think “insane” is a better word than “fabulous.”
Somewhere along the way, I’d forgotten why I’d signed up, and I started getting cranky.
The day of the first race was freakishly hot and muggy for April, something I was unprepared for after training in winter temperatures. I started way too fast in the heat, hit the wall around mile eight, and did a slow run-walk (but mostly walk) the rest of the way, all the time grumbling to myself about how this was the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone – ever, ever, ever! – in the entire history of the world.
I get a little dramatic when I’m tired.
I felt much better at the second race, but around mile five, the sky turned black. Around mile seven, the heavens opened wide. I ran the next four-ish miles through a blinding thunderstorm, slogging through puddles that went up over my ankles.
The final race was about an hour from my house, so I had to get up extra early. I was losing enthusiasm for the 39.3 series, and for turning 39 in general. I was up at 4:30 a.m., moving around my darkened kitchen, putting together a nice breakfast of carbs, wondering again why I was doing this.
I absentmindedly reached under the waistband of my running skirt to scratch an itch on my lower back, and my finger felt a small, raised bump on my skin.
It was a scar from one of my bone marrow biopsies.
Oh, yeah. The cancer.
That’s when I remembered that scar was why I was doing this. Because it’s really exciting that I’m healthy enough to run 39.3 miles. It’s exciting that I’ve made it all the way to 39, and I’m incredibly optimistic that I’ll make it to 49 and beyond.
The 30-year-old who got that biopsy scar figured turning 39 was a distant dream. She could never, ever have imagined running 39.3 miles to celebrate.
Feeling that scar just then was a sign from the universe. Thanks to the universe, I was back in business, and I had a good race.
There were even desserts at the finish line. Happy birthday to me!
I hear so many people my age complaining about aging, saying how “depressed” they’ll be when they hit 40. Not me. A year from now, maybe I won’t be running 40 miles, but I will be celebrating big time. And I will be grateful.
Karen Crowley is a multiple myeloma patient and columnist at The Myeloma Beacon. You can view a list of her columns here.
If you are interested in writing a regular column for The Myeloma Beacon, please contact the Beacon team at .
Wow, Karen, three half marathons in the space of one month! That is very impressive. Some runners just improve as they get older too, and are still running really well into their forties. A friend of mine just won a 10 km race overall and his age is over 45. I only ever ran two half marathons, two years apart! And that was a real effort, let me tell you. The first one was at age 50, I wanted to do something special for that age...a half century celebration of sorts. I am glad now in retrospect that I did that race, for now I think it would be too much for me to attempt...I would like to walk a ten km. race again though, for I did many of those events 'pre myeloma diagnosis'. I am up to about 7 km already.
Karen:
You are nuts ( for running so much) ...and also incredibly young.
39 !
My kids were 7, 4 & 4 --when I was 39--jeepers!
They are now --ready for med school; a Senior in College; a Junior in College;
When I was 49, someone told me --"Watch out for the 50th Birthday , strange things start happening to your body at 50."
Man, were they ever correct !! MM hit me soon after.
You already got MM, so I can't warn you about that one....
So, How about,... "good luck on lapping yourself on your 78th Birthday" !
regards,
Happy Belated Birthday! I have to thank you. Your column was the first thing I read while searching the Internet after I was diagnosed 3 months ago with smoldering myeloma, and it gave me hope and inspires me. Keep running.
Congratulations on your accomplishments, Karen! Being healthy enough to run the 39.3 miles is indeed something to celebrate.
I share your enthusiasm for each birthday that rolls around. I won't be complaining of being another year older - EVER !!!! I was diagnosed at 47, and just had my 62nd birthday in March - way more birthdays than I ever expected to have when I started this journey, and so happy for each and every one. Each one, a milestone to be cherished and to be thankful for ... and a great excuse to eat cake
Keep that positive attitude going and Happy 39th to you, and many, many more!
Karen,
The reason you run is the reason I bike. Fantastic effort, keep it up!
Ron
So you're 39. I'm 59. So I'll be looking for an update on how you feel when I'm 79. (You know that means a 59.3 mile run for you, right?) Anyhow, belated happy birthday.
marvin
Wow! Wow, wow and wow, to each and every one of you. Happy Birthday no matter your age, I am proud to be a fellow MM survivor every day, but especially when I get a chance to stop by the Beacon. Karen, to you and to those newly diagnosed, I only want to enhance the wonderfully kind words of support spoken here by everyone for your story by adding that I too was diagnosed at 30. I will be "nifty fifty" in a month! Come October it will have been a long time ago when I was diagnosed. I feel blessed even when I am driving to my post-transplant maintenance chemo, even when I am cranky and, yes, even when I might feel pitiful for myself occasionally. After all, I figure we have earned every single emotion we may feel on a given day.
As a side note, I have only done a 5k walking as I don't run. I always tell my friends that if they see me running, they better run too as the odds are that something is clearly chasing me ... like a bear!
Keep fighting the good fight gang! We can do this.
Way to go, Karen! What a cool idea and what a great way to celebrate being very much alive - in all senses of the word - at the age of 39.
One of my goals in life, which I've had since shortly after I started running in high school, is to run one mile on my 100th birthday. When I got diagnosed with smoldering myeloma and then symptomatic myeloma, I figured that goal was impossible. But after being in treatment for 1 1/2 years and doing well, I'm thinking it might just be possible after all. Only 39 1/2 years more to go for me!
So congratulations again, and here's to your and my and all Beacon readers' next 39 years!
Mike
Happy belated birthday Karen. I'll be celebrating when my next one comes the big 49!
It is great to do something positive and not thing of the negative. I was 48 when I was diagnosed wit MM and thought that I was pretty young to get this old people Cancer. Let's keep fighting the fight. I know it has made me much stronger. Happy belated.
Old fart cancer sucks. I am in the prime of my professional life wondering whether the issues I read about it are simply exacerbated symptoms of old age, because I do not feel them.