Myeloma Mom: I Don’t Have To; I Get To
Four years ago, my sister found out there was going to be a 5K race near her home in Illinois that was raising money to go toward multiple myeloma research. My whole family showed up to participate.
I’d walked a few 5Ks, and while I always made an effort to exercise regularly – usually walking a few miles on a treadmill or going to a strength-training class at the gym – I hadn’t run a single step since eighth-grade gym class.
Walking was permitted in this race, of course, but I was determined not to walk this one. I knew I was probably one of the few myeloma patients participating, and I was healthy enough to run. So, I wanted to run, dang it. This race was important to me.
I was scared. It seemed impossible. Running was simply not my thing. I was a chubby kid who got straight C’s in gym class all through school. I was always picked last for teams. I never played any sports.
I became more active when I was in my 20s, but running? That would never be for me.
But I ran this race. Slowly. I walked a few times when I got tired. My husband, a marathon runner, greatly reduced his normal running pace and jogged next to me and offered words of encouragement. As I ran across the finish line, I thought I was going to collapse or throw up or both. Fortunately, I didn’t do either. I had conquered 3.1 miles. I felt triumphant.
That race – a race I ran only because I have multiple myeloma – sparked my love for running.
I ran a few more 5Ks in the next couple of years, and soon I was able to get through them without stopping to walk. Still, I figured I would never run any further than a 5K. Anything longer than that seemed physically impossible.
Until I ran my first 10K in 2011.
‘But this is as far as I’m going to go,’ I thought. I knew anything farther than 6.2 miles would be physically impossible.
Until I ran my first half marathon in the fall of 2012.
After my second half marathon last spring, I knew nothing was impossible anymore and that I had to go for it.
On October 19, I ran 26.2 miles and crossed the finish line of the Kansas City Marathon. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life, but also one of the best things. As I write this, my legs are aching and I can’t climb stairs without wanting to cry, but I would do it all over again.
My eighth-grade gym teacher had a saying: “You don’t have to; you get to.” He was a very strict man, who scared the living daylights out of me, and he would usually yell this at us while we were running laps or doing a zillion pushups. At the time, I thought he was just trying to torture us; it took me almost 25 years to figure out what he meant.
I didn’t have to start running after my myeloma diagnosis, but I’m lucky that I got to.
I’m not the best runner or the fastest runner, but running makes me feel more powerful than the cancer. Even though some cells in my bone marrow betrayed me, the rest of me is strong.
I used to view exercise as a chore, but now I know it’s a gift. As a myeloma patient, I know that gift can be taken away at any time. Right now, I’m incredibly lucky that I’m healthy enough to run a marathon, my myeloma has not become aggressive, and Revlimid (lenalidomide) continues to keep it at bay.
As long as I am able, I am going to keep on running. I don’t have to; I get to.
Karen Crowley is a multiple myeloma patient and columnist at The Myeloma Beacon. You can view a list of her columns here.
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I want to say this article hits home with me. My myeloma and my age (71) can make me feel like I cannot do some things sometime. I have been working out at a gym. Last spring I was going to try to walk a 5K for Arthritis which I also have until I found out it was 3 miles. I decided I was not ready for that distance and have been working out on the treadmill to get there for next spring. The therapist at the gym has been telling me I can make it and now I finally believe that I can. I am going to try a 5K in December with a group from the gym and it makes me proud of myself for coming back and feeling able to do this. Your comment about running making you feel more powerful than the cancer rang a bell for me. Maybe that is why I am so proud of myself for deciding to attempt this. You go girl.
Karen,
Great article. My passion in bicycling but I do it for the same reasons you have mentioned. It wasn't until after being diagnosed with MM that I became a "cyclist" as opposed to a recreational rider. I have gone from hoping to do a 100k when I began to now racing against people 20 years younger than me. Challenging myself and at the same time feel that I fighting back against this disease. Not accepting advise from well intentioned people that I shouldn’t push myself and learn to accept my limitations.
I don't have to, I want to.
Ron
Thanks for writing the article! I was recently diagnosed (7 months ago) and am getting ready for a stem cell transplant in the next 2 weeks, but up until I started having symptoms I was a very active runner and even completed a marathon. I am really excited that you have been able to train and finish a marathon! I hope I will someday be able to run again.
I had a fractured rib and vertebrae when I was diagnosed and now have neuropathy. Are you, (Karen, Ron, or Joyce) or have you ever suffered from that? I'd love to know if you have any special considerations because of the MM.
Anyway, it's great to hear about people who are managing to stay active through this! Stay active and stay healthy!
Nice article. I have always felt that exercise is one of the best ways to handle both the physical and mental effects of multiple myeloma or any other cancer. Keep pushing!
Hi Karen, thanks for sharing your news about completing a marathon! congratulations, for that is a distance that most people never walk or run. Like you, I was never very adept at sports in school. In my twenties I took up 'aerobics', which was popular in the '80s. Then at age forty took up running, ran at least 20 km road races, and at age 50 did a half marathon. I did a second half marathon a couple of years later. At the time. I thought that running a half marathon would simply be the same as two 10km events. Wrong!! It was much tougher than that.
So it's wonderful that you have done a marathon ... good for fitness and mental peace!
Vicky good luck with the cell transplant. I would like to know how the transplant went. My husband was diagnose with myeloma one year ago he has been going for treatment. But his dr suggest that he should do the transplant. But we r not sure about it he feels fine right now he is not in remission yet. Why are you doing the transplant?
God bless you
Lupe medrano
Congrats on completing the marathon. My daughter completed her first marathon this past year and like you, said it was one of the hardest things she's ever done. However, she's 22, been an avid runner for several years (runs 8-12 miles several times a week), and does not have cancer. Sure helps put your accomplishment in perspective. My "get to" activities by the way, are biking and hockey - like Ron said, it's one of way to fight back against MM and give it the middle finger salute!
Fantastic Karen, I couldn't do a marathon when I didnt have cancer. Less likely to do one now ;). But there are plenty of other things I "get" to do.
Karen, Way To Go!! That is outstanding! I've been "getting to" run for 43 years now. Continuing to run through my multiple myeloma treatment, which started in January, has been one of the things that's kept me sane (or close to sane, I hope). I love how you said running helps you feel more powerful than the cancer. I've thought the same exact thing many times. Any day that I *get to* run is a good day! Keep on moving!
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