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Pat’s Cracked Cup: Winter Holidays And Cheer

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Published: Dec 26, 2012 12:17 pm

In the western world where I live, the long dark nights of December bring the light and festivities of the close of our calendar year. People honor and celebrate in many ways and meanings. It is as if we are all aboard a train that is traveling through this territory, whether we like it or not.

Despite the particular problems facing the nation or the world - and despite our personal faith or lack of it - a call for cheer falls upon us all. People at various stages of living with multiple myeloma may have their own unique experience of this time of year.

I recall this time of year a few years back when I was preparing to return home after a long hospitalization. Well-meaning friends suggested decking my apartment with an abundance of holiday adornments.

It was not what I wanted, and I had to kindly discourage their efforts. My attitude was not at all “bah humbug” or grim. I just wanted to have my full experience without distraction - the unpleasantness of feeling unwell and the joy of continuation. I did not need to pretend anything other than that.

We now reside in a consumer environment that pushes each holiday into mass consciousness earlier and more intensely - especially Christmas. We refer to “the holidays” to cover every possible ethnic version of winter festivities.

The one common denominator seems to be good will, peace, and cheer - sentiments we are in dire need of everyday.

I am especially fond of the word “cheerfulness,” a condition that is not limited to special occasions. This term has been widely used by a well-known meditation teacher (Chogyam Trungpa) as an antidote for laziness and depression.

This attitude is not a forced happiness in the face of pain and suffering. This “conditional” cheerfulness is a temporary state of mind, like pleasure and pain - something that must be revved up by organizing our world just so.

Alternatively, “unconditional” cheerfulness is a discipline of compassion and wakefulness - intentionally working with the everydayness of life as it happens.

My life happens to contain a “chronic illness” called multiple myeloma. This is my path. Remaining alive and vital despite the multiple myeloma is central to who I am now.

Cheerfulness offers a state of evenness. Highs and lows need not toss one about in a storm. The Mayan prediction was quite entertaining as 12/21/12 approached, but as most of us suspected, an end of the world scenario would have been a little too Hollywood.

None of us get off that easily. Instead, we will turn our calendars to the year 2013 and carry on with our individual stories. I wish all of you many cheerful days ahead.

Pat Pendleton is a multiple myeloma patient and columnist at The Myeloma Beacon. You can view a list of her columns here.

If you are interested in writing a regular column for The Myeloma Beacon, please contact the Beacon team at .

Photo of Pat Pendleton, monthly columnist at The Myeloma Beacon.
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3 Comments »

  • Suzanne Gay said:

    dear pat -- cheerful, indeed. the best we can offer ourselves & others when the unknown hovers about whatever season. on this balmy tropical lovely day after Christmas when all is quiet in the house with a new book to read & a few foreign films just fetched from the library, and spiced tea brewing, i am cheerful. Cheers to 2013!

  • April Nelson said:

    Thoughtful observations about what is too often an overhyped, forced time of gaiety. I too wrestle with people chiding me if my holiday spirits don't match their expectations. Like you, my life too just happens to contain myeloma and my path is my path.

    Here's to cheerful and 2013.

  • nancy shamanna said:

    Thanks Pat, for your insights, which are really profound! I like the 'good cheer' which abounds at this time of year, but it is WAY more to do with people and festive get togethers, pot lucks, family, choirs than just shopping! (Although I have to admit I do my fair share of that!). But as someone who did suffer from a lot because of myeloma, in the last few years, I find it best to enjoy what I can and try to keep on an even keel with rest and exercise.