An international piano competition, which is held here in Calgary every three years and is near and dear to my heart, took place again at the end of last month. 

As in 2009, I had the chance to attend some of the concerts. My state of mind, however, was much better this time around.

In 2009, I was starting induction chemotherapy and was in a very worried state of mind.  My husband Dilip and I had volunteered with this event since 1992.  We had hosted a young competitor from Shanghai in March 2009, and had hoped to have a finalist stay with us in October.  That was not to happen though, since I had to drop out of my volunteer activities and other interests for almost two years due to my intense treatments for myeloma. 

Those piano concerts were the last events I attended for quite some time.  I retreated into a shell of being a cancer patient.

Before my myeloma diagnosis, I was very involved and busy and had a large network of friends.  I wondered what would happen to my friendships since I could not be out much and was actually quite sick a lot of the time.

I soon found out that I need not have worried about my friends. 

Even though I had become a hermit, they did not give up on me.  Support poured in from as close by as our neighborhood to as far away as India and Australia during all stages of my treatments.

As I went through active treatment, I found it very helpful that family and friends called frequently, visited, and brought meals.  The meals were even more helpful for my family than for me, since I had very little appetite at the time.  Home-made soups and other mild foods were all I could handle, but one friend prepared very spicy food for Dilip, since that is his favorite.  She wanted to ensure that he also was being looked after.

I found all of the cards, flowers, boxes of chocolates, and other gifts to be very cheering. I even received two hand-knitted prayer shawls from churches, sent to me through friends.  I wrapped myself up in them as Dilip and I watched lots of movies on TV.  

I couldn’t get out to the activities that I had enjoyed previously, such as needlework guild meetings and workshops, choir practices and performances, pipe band practices, or even book club meetings.  I managed to work from home on my accounting duties, but that was about all that I accomplished.

However, my friends near and far did keep in touch with me.  That meant a lot to me, and it made me realize that I was not alone in spirit going through this tough time in my life. 

At the beginning of my treatments, some of Dilip’s medical colleagues sat down with me and tried to help me sort out the details of what I was going through, which I really appreciated.  They also tried to reassure me that myeloma was a ‘treatable’ cancer, although at the time I was mostly just frightened of having any kind of cancer.

During the time of intensive treatments, I relied on e-mail and online visual communications (Skype) to keep in touch with friends and family.  That was a real boon to me, since I had a compromised immune system and would have caught infectious diseases such as colds very easily.  I also eventually found my way to the Myeloma Beacon and patient blogs, all of which are interesting and informative to read. 

Once I was feeling better again, friends came by and walked with me outdoors.  They were very mindful that after several months of treatments, I would get tired more easily since the injuries and chemotherapy drugs had taken a toll on my energy levels.

Some friends invited us out to restaurants or over to their homes for meals.  My husband and I never stayed out late since we both had lowered energy levels at that time, but we truly enjoyed being included in social outings again.

Now, more than three years after my initial diagnosis, I am in a phase where the myeloma is under control.  I finally can concentrate on other people’s lives again. 

When I started to check in with my friends to find out what had been happening in their lives, I learned that nobody had wanted to tell me anything that was the least bit disturbing when I was in the thick of treatments.  Afterwards, I started to hear about the problems they had been experiencing, ranging from operations and illnesses to problems with relationships and more.  But for a while, they sheltered me from all of that and just focussed on helping me to get better.

Many of my friends encouraged me to get back to the activities that I enjoyed so much before my illness struck.  It makes me feel that I am putting the illness behind me by being involved again with the choir, the needlework guild, my book club, volunteer activities, as well as my work. 

My friends from our health club encouraged me to come back and just do whatever light exercises that do not cause pain to prevent more injuries.  So I have been going on the treadmill, the exercise bikes, and more. I also enjoy visiting with folks at the gym.  I have realized that skiing isn’t going to work for me anymore, but nature walks are also good.  Having a new puppy join our family has also gotten me out for several walks a day when I am looking after him.

Some friends have even encouraged me to try something new.  A friend from my choir gave me a month of free singing lessons, which she had won in a silent auction.  Singing is very good for your health, since good breathing habits and posture are needed to sing well.  I am really enjoying the lessons so I have decided to continue on with the classes. 

And finally, because of the myeloma diagnosis, I have made new friends.  The wonderful people in our local support group have opened my eyes to a world of courage and volunteering that I would not have known otherwise.  I am fortunate to have met these folks here in Canada and elsewhere who are working to make the lives of myeloma patients better.

As I listened to three great concertos last month played by the young pianists with our Calgary Philharmonic Orchestra, I was thinking of far I have come on my journey in the last three years.  I am so very thankful for the company of good friends who have helped me along in my struggle against multiple myeloma.  

A cancer diagnosis can have a way of lowering one’s self esteem. The support and the encouragement of my friends helped me through this difficult time.

How has friendship affected your journey through the travails of having myeloma?

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The quotation for this month is from Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772 – 1834), an English poet, literary critic, and philosopher, who wrote "Friendship is a sheltering tree."