Pat’s Cracked Cup: Grateful For Perspective
I noticed winter holiday decorations in the stores the day after Halloween. There is no way of escaping the presence of commercial seasonal promotions.
Yet this time of year still triggers memory and reflection.
I recall struggling to a Thanksgiving dinner a few years back with symptoms of stage IV multiple myeloma before I knew I had a disease with a name.
I had been unwell for months and clueless about my condition. It took another two weeks before I would be diagnosed. What a relief to finally name my problem. A Chinese proverb tells us: “The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names.”
I was told there was no cure - treatment would give me some reprieve. They mentioned that I may never be able to lift more than a few pounds due to bone fractures. Based on the way I felt, I had no reason to doubt any of this.
I was concerned that my managed healthcare insurance provided mediocre care, and I did not have the resources to seek out the cutting edge best. I did not know that the process of healing works in mysterious ways, and the information I received was an average prognosis that did not apply to an individual person.
Perspective is a point of view that changes depending upon where you are observing from. Over the last eight years with multiple myeloma, my perspective has changed. I carry the shadow of disease like a delicate flower along with six years of remission without drugs. I actually lift heavy things now and then.
Diagnosis feels limiting and scary. Naming multiple myeloma was the beginning of wisdom for me.
Good health and fortune are not always the best medicine for waking up to your own life. People who exercise and eat calculated diets of protein, vitamins, and minerals may become sick and die. Devoted, caring individuals who serve the world are suddenly taken in tragic accidents.
Everyone has perspective to know that things you once believed to be true have proven otherwise. Actions that are viewed as mistakes can turn out to be just the right thing. Mystery is a name for anything we cannot make sense of – anything we cannot see, hear, or recognize. The beginning of wisdom is learning to listen and see.
I do not need a turkey dinner to be grateful for the perspective to know that my point of view shifts as I see and hear more - as I remain open to what is unknown.
Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!
Pat Pendleton is a multiple myeloma patient and columnist at The Myeloma Beacon. You can view a list of her columns here.
If you are interested in writing a regular column to be published on The Myeloma Beacon, please contact the Beacon team at .
Well said Pat.
I am not technically in remission. For the time being, however, my MM is manageable. I am extremely thankful for that given the alarming prognosis I received in late 2007. I also came to a better understanding of my situation through self-education and a wonderful support group hosted monthly by the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. In addition to the improving treatment landscape for MM patients, I learn a lot from writers such as you about the emotional journey. We can, in fact we must, manage that outcome ourselves.
Thank you for your always perceptive words.
That's wonderful that you have been in remission for so long! That is so heartening actually. Glad you are managing so well...I know what you mean about lifting heavy items, but have been caught out a few times and injured myself further. It's hard to change a lifetime of habits, but now am more cautious than I was...
As I read your letter on The Myeloma Beacon, it was as if I was reading about me. I too can remember fixing Thanksgiving Dinner feeling unwell and wondering how I was going to get through it. A few weeks later I landed in the hospital with the diagnosis of "Multiple Myeloma". I was told I would not beable to lift more than two pounds as I also had a broken arm from the Myeloma. Its been 2 and 1/2 years that I have been in remission without a Stem Cell Transplant or drugs and still going strong. I feel blessed that I have had these 2-1/2 years and embrace each day, as you.
Thank you for sharing your story! We have a lot to be thankful for this "Thanksgiving".
I remember when I was first diagonsed with MM-it was October 08. I remember my doctor telling me "You will have a wonderful Thanksgiving next year". He was right, and each subsequent Thanksgiving since. I have so much to be thankful for. I like to think that I have MM-MM does not have me(not yet-not today!).
Wonderful words of wisdom Pat. I keep a file on my computer that I have titled "Myeloma Wisdom", and I often copy and paste what you have written to that file. This is another one. I was officially diagnosed right after Easter this year, but I was under the shadow of the impending diagnosis (and really knew what it would be) a little earlier. So, sduring the family get-togehter, I felt like I was under a cloud, not saying anything, since I didn't want to wrory anyone, and I also didn't want to "name" it, hopeing it wuoldnt' be true. So I was there for the celebration, but I wasn't, as I'm sure you'll understand. But for Thanksgiving I'll really be there, naming it but not beaten by it. I'm standing for life!
Have a wonderful, blessed Thanksgiving. To everyone.
Pat, thank you for this so nice article. When I read your words I have the impression that your are beside us, putting your hands slowly and softly on our shoulders and encouraging us to open our minds to simple things of life that we have maybe forgotten when we were healthy. Love.
Definitely a deep introspection we are given along with the diagnosis, and then the perspective comes with each of our own thinking or way of looking around us. Thank you for putting all of this into such calm lovely words. Enjoy your Thanksgiving, Pat. Suzanne
Thank you for all the kind words. Thanksgiving Cheers!
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