Pat’s Place: Reflections On An Unfortunate Summer Holiday Tradition
I hope everyone had an enjoyable Memorial Day holiday weekend!
I was fortunate to be able to spend some rare, quality time with my wife and caregiver, Pattie.
We shopped a bit, saw a movie, and shared a relaxed meal at a restaurant near our home.
While we dined, Pattie and I began to discuss my upcoming stem cell transplant, which was recently re-scheduled to begin around July first.
It was then Pattie reminded me about an unfortunate summer holiday cancer-related tradition we share.
It started over a decade ago, when my wife was diagnosed with cervical and uterine cancer. She underwent surgery this very weekend.
Six years later, we spent the 4th of July together as she recovered from a second surgery—and then chemotherapy—for ovarian cancer.
I had forgotten most of the timeline for her treatments—it seems so long ago. But Pattie hadn’t! She remembered to the day when she was admitted and released from the hospital, which days she received chemotherapy, and how long she was laid-up following treatment.
All I remember is watching her—curled up in a fetal position on the couch—unable to move for days at a time.
Fortunately, Pattie fought her way through and is still cancer-free today.
Fast forward a few years to 2007, and now it was my turn. Both my Memorial Day and 4th of July Weekends were marred by serious complications caused by treatment for my multiple myeloma, including a serious pulmonary embolism (blood clot) in my lungs that left me hospitalized for almost a week just before the July 4th holiday.
As we sat discussing our next cancer-related challenge, Pattie was quick to point out the irony of another summer holiday that would be spent in a hospital.
Someone who doesn’t understand might think, “How sad that they spent their Memorial Day ’date night’ planning for Pat’s stem cell transplant.”
But I look at things differently. Spending quality time together planning means a lot to me. Pattie and I have faced so many challenges together over the years, for me it has become part of our DNA—a part of who we are.
As a matter of fact, for better or worse, over a decade of real-life, cancer-related drama has left me disinterested in meaningless socializing and small talk. I just don’t have time for it anymore.
Fortunately, I am still able to appreciate a lot of simple things in life—watching a sunset, spending time with my dog, walking along the beach, or enjoying lunch with a fellow patient and friend.
Most of all, I enjoy spending quiet time with Pattie.
Imagine all we have faced together over the past 13 years. Now that’s something worth celebrating every summer!
Feel good and keep smiling! Pat
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Pat,
Memorial Day 2008 was the day I was released from the hospital after reconstruction of my C7 vertebra.
We'll be praying for your transplant to go well. It can be a tough walk, but is well worth it. After my transplant last September, I am now M spike negative. It took a couple of months after the transplant, but finally arrived on my three month doctor visit.
Julia Munson
Calumet, MI
What a wonderful story you and Pattie share! You too will fight your way through your upcoming stem cell transplant!! You are so fortunate to have such a bond with your wife. And being there for each other will help tremendously! I have had 3 stem cell transplants and am very happy to say I am in complete remission now and back to a somewhat normal life. Keep positive, hold onto the good things in life, like special times with your wife, and it will make you more mentally prepared to handle what lies ahead. I'm sure you know that by just reading your article. And you're right, meaningless small talk is not important, but good, warm feelings that you hold in your heart is what matters most! Wishing you all the best and looking forward to updates on your progress!! Your column really inspires me to face my future!! Good luck!
Hello Julia-
For you readers that don't know where Calumet, Michigan is, it is in the Upper Penninsula of Michigan, right, Julia!
We love it up there! Pattie and I are looking forward to visiting Lake Superior in September after my SCT. I'm glad you are doing so well- Pat
Hi Pat and Pattie- my hubby Jim and I have similar stories!! 12 years ago 4th of July weekend he was in the hospital recovering from prostate cancer surgery. Fast forward to July 4th weekend 2010, I was being pumped full of Melphalan chemo in prep for my autologous stem cell transplant at City of Hope, July 5, 2010. Great news, I am in full myeloma remission! Best of luck with your transplant process and I wish few side-effects and full remission for you! Love this informative website and articles.
Pat
I thought you were against moving forward with Stem Cell transplant - Your philosophy has been- to first use all the Drugs to combat the disease - then use the Transplant if absolutely needed - What has changed in your approach - Is your M-spike on the rise ? Have the meds stopped working ? Your insight has been most rewarding . Thank YOU
Good Luck!
Cathy, 3 stem cell transplants? I am so glad you are doing well!
Julie, sounds like you and your husband have had some "interesting" summer holidays as well! So glad you are OK. How is Jim doing?
Emilio, my M-spike has been slowly rising for 8 months. It got as high as 0.7 when a number of lesions started to form. I was leaning toward transplantation at first relapse anyway, but the way the myeloma attacks my bones made the decision an easy one. I was never anti-transplant. I just don't like the way myeloma docs sometimes push it early on. SCT is one of several important options available to us. I was able to delay for over four years. NOw it's time.
Thanks so much for sharing your stories--and the kind words of support. You made my day! Pat
Best wishes for a successful transplant and fast recovery.
Gil Alderson
Thanks, Gil! Me and about one thousand other patients from across the country this summer- Pat
"cancer-related drama has left me disinterested in meaningless socializing and small talk. I just don’t have time for it anymore"
What a great line. As I approach my second year dealing with MM, I have found this to be one of the best aspects to the disease.
Good luck to you Pat on your transplant.
My first SCT will also be around the first of July too. Stan
Sounds like Stan and I will be "transplant buddies!" Good luck to you, too- Pat
Great to hear your story Pat and Pattie.I wish you all the very best for your STC.I've been going 17 months now since diagnosis.I was unable to provide enough stem cells despite speaking nicely to the
apheresis machine.I hopefully will be entering a trials programme for
dexamethasone,velcade and panobinostat about the same time as your
transplant.My love and thoughts will be with you both and thankyou for your very positive and informative writings,
John Burton (Sydney Australia)
John-
I, too, had trouble collecting. It took me 12 days. Thanks for the kind words--I hear good things about panobinostat- Pat
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