Hi everyone,
My father was diagnosed with stage 3 myeloma in June 2014. He was treated with thalidomide + dexamethasone + bortezomib (Velcade). But after receiving the first dose of chemotherapy, he got a cardiac.
Immediately he was moved to ICU, where he developed septicemia. Due to infection, his treatment got stopped. He was having renal failure for which he required dialysis every alternative day during his stay in ICU. He was in ICU for 2 months. Within that span, he had two cardiac, two times ventilation. He never came out from sepsis completely, and he passed away 28th of August, 2014.
Within 70 days I lost the most precious thing in my life. Everyday I cry watching my father's face on my laptop. Everyday I think what went wrong so that my father was not able to tolerate only one chemotherapy. The doctors told he was immunocompromised as he never came out from infection.
Often I ask God why he and why not me have the disease. Don't know whether there is any existence of God too.
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Re: In 70 days, I lost the most precious thing in my life
Dear Adhara,
I am terribly sorry to hear your story and about your loss.
Are there any groups you can attend in your area/part of the world?
Where I am there are groups supported by one or two psychologists. 5-10 people who have lost close relatives meet every week and work their way through the process. The psychologists support and facilitate the process.
There are special groups for children who have lost their father or mother or a sister/brother.
Some people prefer not to attend any kind of grief therapy. But, in general, many afterwards feel that they should have done so.
I hope that you will soon see the sun shining again.
Greetings
I am terribly sorry to hear your story and about your loss.
Are there any groups you can attend in your area/part of the world?
Where I am there are groups supported by one or two psychologists. 5-10 people who have lost close relatives meet every week and work their way through the process. The psychologists support and facilitate the process.
There are special groups for children who have lost their father or mother or a sister/brother.
Some people prefer not to attend any kind of grief therapy. But, in general, many afterwards feel that they should have done so.
I hope that you will soon see the sun shining again.
Greetings
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Lev - Name: Lev
- Who do you know with myeloma?: Me
- When were you/they diagnosed?: June 2014
- Age at diagnosis: 57
Re: In 70 days, I lost the most precious thing in my life
I'm very, very sorry for your loss. Sudden death is the most shocking and the hardest to deal with. I lost my father over the course of just a few days of being ill and the grief was all consuming for several months. I truly feel for you and your family and wish you peace.
Best
J
Best
J
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jhorner - Name: Magpie
- Who do you know with myeloma?: Myself
- When were you/they diagnosed?: 2013
- Age at diagnosis: 49
Re: In 70 days, I lost the most precious thing in my life
I am deeply sorry for your loss. I lost my mom pretty darn fast too. So fast it made my head spin and I could hardly keep up with everything happening. I hope you find peace.
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MaddzMom - Name: Darnelle
- Who do you know with myeloma?: mom
- When were you/they diagnosed?: August 2014
- Age at diagnosis: 73
Re: In 70 days, I lost the most precious thing in my life
Dear Adhara,
My deepest condolences, I have been there. I too lost my dad four decades ago when he was only 46 and I was twenty. I was a second year medical student and also lost my intended career, as my mom had three younger children to care for and could not afford my studies for another 4 years. No words could describe my anguish and desperation.
I don't know how old you are, but I can promise you the pain will ease even if you feel now that it never will. I wish you lots of strength for this very sad time and I pray that life will grant you many other precious gifts in the future.
Kindest Regards
My deepest condolences, I have been there. I too lost my dad four decades ago when he was only 46 and I was twenty. I was a second year medical student and also lost my intended career, as my mom had three younger children to care for and could not afford my studies for another 4 years. No words could describe my anguish and desperation.
I don't know how old you are, but I can promise you the pain will ease even if you feel now that it never will. I wish you lots of strength for this very sad time and I pray that life will grant you many other precious gifts in the future.
Kindest Regards
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Spanish Mary - Name: Spanish Mary
- Who do you know with myeloma?: Self, MGUS
- When were you/they diagnosed?: May 2014
- Age at diagnosis: 59
Re: In 70 days, I lost the most precious thing in my life
I'm so sorry to hear of your father's story. I'm wishing you peace during your time of grief.
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Tracy J - Name: Tracy Jalbuena
- Who do you know with myeloma?: Me
- When were you/they diagnosed?: 2014
- Age at diagnosis: 42
Re: In 70 days, I lost the most precious thing in my life
Hi Spanish Mary,
Thank you for your supportive words. It's been 2 years , though I feel it's yesterday's incident. Yes, you are right that the pain I had 2 years back is not same as now. But my life totally got changed due to this. I am not the same person I was 2 years back. I eat, walk, enjoy, sleep, but there is no fun spending the life without him. For me it's like no Dad no life. I have everything in life by the grace of my father, but I don't have him. My entire family is complete without him. He is my father, my hero.
Regards,
Adhara
Thank you for your supportive words. It's been 2 years , though I feel it's yesterday's incident. Yes, you are right that the pain I had 2 years back is not same as now. But my life totally got changed due to this. I am not the same person I was 2 years back. I eat, walk, enjoy, sleep, but there is no fun spending the life without him. For me it's like no Dad no life. I have everything in life by the grace of my father, but I don't have him. My entire family is complete without him. He is my father, my hero.
Regards,
Adhara
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adhara
Re: In 70 days, I lost the most precious thing in my life
I have just been diagnosed and I, too, have a lovely daughter. She has just gotten engaged and said no dad, no wedding. I said honey, you gave me the greatest gift I can ask for, that you love God and he will look after you when I'm gone.
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