I'm with JBarnes on this one. I would never tell anybody at work my situation unless I was undergoing a transplant or dealing with meds or disease-related situations that were causing me to be obviously debilitated and/or missing a lot of time at work...but that's just me.
I also won't tell my friends about my situation and have decided to just keep the issue in my family. Again, this is just me and I totally understand that others may get a great sense of relief and would enjoy the support they might get by "coming out".
Forums
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Multibilly - Name: Multibilly
- Who do you know with myeloma?: Me
- When were you/they diagnosed?: Smoldering, Nov, 2012
Re: "Coming out" at work
JBarnes wrote: "I see no reason to tell them you have multiple myeloma if you are only doing quarterly check ups."
Yes, true, but I also see an ID transplant doctor (ongoing immune issues after transplant) every two months, and an endocrinologist regularly for my thyroid issue. More appointments then the average joe! My current job I am able to take them as "sick leave" since I have a documented "disability". But my new job will not be so easy.
Yes, true, but I also see an ID transplant doctor (ongoing immune issues after transplant) every two months, and an endocrinologist regularly for my thyroid issue. More appointments then the average joe! My current job I am able to take them as "sick leave" since I have a documented "disability". But my new job will not be so easy.
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LYS2012
Re: "Coming out" at work
Hi Ray. I agree with what Ron said, but that is what was and is right for me. It might not be right for you.
When I was diagnosed five years ago, I "came out" immediately for a number of reasons. First, I was sick enough that I was in the hospital for a week, so I at least owed my colleagues an explanation. Second, I was "Acting" in charge of my office until a political appointee was selected. I needed to let the staff know what was going on with me. Third, my induction therapy was thalidomide with dexa, and the thalidomide knocked me out. Luckily, I have a job that can be cone by telework and worked for an agency with a good telework policy. Fourth, I chaired an interagency workgroup for nearly a decade. Many of us have collaborated for a long time, and I thought I owed everyone an explanation of why I was disappearing for a while.
The benefit of coming out was the outpouring of love, support, and prayers I received. I still have a large stack of cards I received from my work colleagues. And the support from my religious community also was amazing.
When I changed jobs 3 1/2 years ago, my boss knew about the myeloma. My new work family has been very supportive. Last year, I thought I was going to start treatment again. I told my boss, and his immediate reaction was assurance that they would support whatever I needed to do.
For me, there have been no cons of revealing my myeloma diagnosis. However, in another job setting, it could have been a problem. There is also your level of comfort with sharing. Sharing is not for everybody.
Whatever decision you make will be the right one for you. Make one that provides you with support and does not cause you anxiety. You don't need any more of that right now.
Dana
When I was diagnosed five years ago, I "came out" immediately for a number of reasons. First, I was sick enough that I was in the hospital for a week, so I at least owed my colleagues an explanation. Second, I was "Acting" in charge of my office until a political appointee was selected. I needed to let the staff know what was going on with me. Third, my induction therapy was thalidomide with dexa, and the thalidomide knocked me out. Luckily, I have a job that can be cone by telework and worked for an agency with a good telework policy. Fourth, I chaired an interagency workgroup for nearly a decade. Many of us have collaborated for a long time, and I thought I owed everyone an explanation of why I was disappearing for a while.
The benefit of coming out was the outpouring of love, support, and prayers I received. I still have a large stack of cards I received from my work colleagues. And the support from my religious community also was amazing.
When I changed jobs 3 1/2 years ago, my boss knew about the myeloma. My new work family has been very supportive. Last year, I thought I was going to start treatment again. I told my boss, and his immediate reaction was assurance that they would support whatever I needed to do.
For me, there have been no cons of revealing my myeloma diagnosis. However, in another job setting, it could have been a problem. There is also your level of comfort with sharing. Sharing is not for everybody.
Whatever decision you make will be the right one for you. Make one that provides you with support and does not cause you anxiety. You don't need any more of that right now.
Dana
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darnold - Name: Dana Arnold
- Who do you know with myeloma?: self
- When were you/they diagnosed?: May 2009
- Age at diagnosis: 52
Re: "Coming out" at work
I've had multiple myeloma for 4.5 years and nobody outside of my family and close friends know.
I tell other people I have a rare type of blood cancer. If they want more details, I say "It's sort of like Hodgkin's disease". That explains my treatment, hair loss etc. And when they go home and Google it, (and then talk about it to everybody in town), they'll realize I have a 90% chance of being cured and everybody is happy and comfortable around me.
I have a business that would suffer if it got out that I had an incurable type of cancer.
Equally important is that I don't want anybody to feel sorry for, or uncomfortable around me.
I did let a distant friend know right after being diagnosed. The next time I saw her, she avoided me like the plague. She is a weak individual, I realize but it does make almost everybody uncomfortable.
Interesting side note. Some investors felt Steve Jobs should have been required to report the truth of his health status while he had cancer since he played such a pivotal role in the success of Apple. That would be a tough call.
I tell other people I have a rare type of blood cancer. If they want more details, I say "It's sort of like Hodgkin's disease". That explains my treatment, hair loss etc. And when they go home and Google it, (and then talk about it to everybody in town), they'll realize I have a 90% chance of being cured and everybody is happy and comfortable around me.
I have a business that would suffer if it got out that I had an incurable type of cancer.
Equally important is that I don't want anybody to feel sorry for, or uncomfortable around me.
I did let a distant friend know right after being diagnosed. The next time I saw her, she avoided me like the plague. She is a weak individual, I realize but it does make almost everybody uncomfortable.
Interesting side note. Some investors felt Steve Jobs should have been required to report the truth of his health status while he had cancer since he played such a pivotal role in the success of Apple. That would be a tough call.
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stann
14 posts
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