[dvandre]

Back pain & chemo brain

by dvandre on Wed Dec 04, 2013 11:57 am

Wow! What a new and I wish I could say 'wonderful' experience. I was suffering with extreme back pain for a period of 8 months. The doctors kept telling me I was getting old. I never felt old considering that most of my family lived healthy lives into their 90s. I don't know how I was managing to get up and go to work every day. I thought I was more sick from the ibuprofen, pain meds, and muscle relaxers until I stopped taking them and found that I could barely walk.

I finally convinced my primary care physician that I needed a CT scan which revealed the multiple myeloma. I was admitted to the hospital immediately where I received kyphoplasty on a few of my spinal compression fractures. I have a few more to be 'spackled' which I am hoping to have done as soon as possible. I would prefer to know that my bones have begun healing themselves again but the pain relief from this procedure is so effective I'm not sure I can wait. Not only that, I don't know how long a wait I might have. I still have no clue as to how long all of these things take before I get a break.

Apparently my cells are normal and I am a good candidate for a transplant. I am going into my 5th 21 day cycle and I am told that I am responding very well to my treatment. I don't know what that means. All I know is that I have become an all consuming steroid monster with an expanding waistline and a rapidly diminishing cognitive process. Since I am 'not all there' I am having difficulty sorting out all of the denied insurance claims, confusing rhetoric from social services, and all of the other things that I am told I shouldn't be worried about. I am lucky to have great family and friends. I don't know how I would function without them.

I am wondering how others here have dealt with returning to normal daily living including work, and how long that might take. I have a hard time believing that that day will come as I cannot sit or stand in any one position for any length of time and I cannot concentrate on anything for more than a couple of minutes. Everyone keeps telling me I look great but I feel like a total zombie. Will I ever be able to pick up a full gallon of milk again?

[StandingTall]

Re: Back pain & chemo brain

by StandingTall on Wed Dec 04, 2013 5:06 pm

That's what I thought was happening before my diagnosis. I have always looked and felt younger for my age. But after 4 years of working with at risk youth and an additional 3 years of high stress and change, I thought age was quickly catching up with me for being on the go for that stretch of time.

I know I have gotten a lot better since my chemo treatments. But I have no clue how it will translate to work – especially if there is no guarantee of my continued good response. Also, my planned dual stem cell transplants are going to take up a chunk of the next year, with no guarantees if they will do anything remarkable. I am in the high risk category, so I get mixed messages about what sort of prognosis I am looking at.

Part of me would love to get back to work, to alleviate the financial strain. Plus, work is what I do best. Myeloma-land feels like limbo.