At the end of October, I traveled to Tucson, Arizona to visit my ailing 76-year-old father. The trip had significant lessons for both patients and caregivers. Since I am both, it had a profound impact on me that I am still trying to organize in my mind.

Dad has both terminal cancer and very late-stage multiple sclerosis, a disease he has battled since he was 25 years old. Due to his cancer diag­nosis in August of 2015, he was not expected to live beyond Christmas 2016. Due to his amazing durability and …

At the end of October, I traveled to Tucson, Arizona to visit and help my ailing parents. It was quite a trip, both literally and in the “trippy” sense of the word. I am still trying to organize the experiences in my mind.

Because of my multiple myeloma, these experiences hold lessons for me that are more immediate than they are for the average Joe. Most of the lessons, I feel, are relevant to other multiple myeloma patients and care­givers as well, so I thought I would share them in this column.

My dad has …

It’s been a few years now since I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, but I still continuously face the dilemma of whom to share this information with.

So far I am lucky to be (outwardly) asymptomatic and, other than the steroids helping me to get a little fatter, I don’t look any different than I did before I was diagnosed and started treatment. I therefore have the option of choosing whether or not I tell people I have multiple myeloma.

Of course, the people who know about it and don’t see …

While I would love to get into a debate about the evolution of man versus the creation of man, that’s not what this article is about at all.

Instead, I would like to expand on some feedback I received in response to one of my articles. In a comment on the article, a reader wrote that those of us with multiple myeloma “have evolved.”

I found this comment to be especially on point. So much so, that I often think of it.

Let’s face it. We’re different than most folks. …

I have been living with multiple myeloma for over four years now.

While I have no illusion that I am an expert on being a myeloma patient, I would say that I am past the beginner stage and into the intermediate level.

My disease was discovered while looking for the cause of some severe mystery colon inflammations I had been having for over two years. After I was diagnosed, I first took a “wait and see” approach for about six months.

When my free light chain levels became severely elevated, I was …

I have been struck lately at how clearly I am leading a double life.

In my “healthy life,” I am fun-loving, cheerful, outgoing, and almost always trying to grab the golden apple with both hands. I am able to combine work, fun, and family into a package that I’ve rarely ever been happier about.

In my “myeloma life,” I find myself standoffish, reserved, and looking for­ward to my next nap. I am usually a bit frumpy and grumpy and not very fun to be around. It is not somebody I enjoy being, …

I am a planner.

I make my living crafting plans for long and complex projects with multiple unfolding and changing factors, and I really enjoy it. My clients say that I am pretty good at it.

I make all the plans for our family vacations. I can easily become obsessed for hours with comparing airline schedules versus prices versus available seats versus the quality of the airline. I can spend days comparing the smallest details of myriad vacation rental options.

I plan our family’s financial outlays and investments. I plan our …