Remembering Stephen Kramer
Another valued voice of the myeloma community has been lost.
Stephen P. Kramer, author of the Beacon column “Manhattan Tales,” passed away last Friday, August 8, at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York City. Stephen was 66 years old, and was diagnosed with multiple myeloma in early 2010.
At the time of his diagnosis, Stephen was working as Chief of Staff and Special Counsel to the Commissioner of the New York City Department of Buildings. This position was the culmination of a successful legal career that stretched back across four decades, and which routinely reflected Stephen’s desire to practice law in the public interest.
Stephen’s multiple myeloma diagnosis brought him into territory unfamiliar and confounding to him as a lawyer. He could not sue the disease. He could not get a restraining order issued against it. He could not lobby for new legislation prohibiting it.
What he could do, however, was draw on one of the key inspirations for his legal career.
In a movie from several years ago, one of the main characters explains,
The law isn't perfect. Neither are the people who have created it. But it has been made with endless effort to do good.
Stephen believed that a key function of the law was “to do good.” And, repurposing that belief, he decided in late 2011 to write a column for The Beacon so he could share his myeloma journey with the broader myeloma community and with his friends and family.
Stephen understood that the simple act of describing his trials and tribulations – of documenting his will to survive, be with his family a little longer, and appreciate life a bit more – would inspire many more to do the same.
And inspire he did. Over the course of 26 editions of “Manhattan Tales,” Stephen leveraged the writing skills he had honed during his legal career to make all of us feel that we were right there with him, accompanying him along his journey.
We walked with Stephen as he strolled through the trees and wildlife of Central Park on his way to his next round of treatment. We swam next to him as he did laps in the swimming pool, soothing not just his peripheral neuropathy, but also his mind and soul. We rejoiced with him as he spent time with his beloved family, and as he marveled at the city which he was so proud to call home.
Perhaps most of all, we felt – and were stirred by – Stephen’s visceral desire to keep on living in the face of adversity. As fellow Beacon columnist Tabitha Tow Burns noted, “Stephen's columns were an uplifting, inspiring voice for the myeloma community.”
Regrettably, there was far too much adversity during Stephen’s myeloma journey. After his diagnosis, he first underwent treatment with a combination of Revlimid, Velcade, and dexamethasone. Due to worsening peripheral neuropathy, he had to drop the Velcade, and he also switched from dexamethasone to prednisone for side effect-related reasons. He then continued on Revlimid and prednisone until he relapsed two years after his diagnosis.
At that point, he underwent his first autologous stem cell transplant, was treatment-free for a while, but then started a dash through several different myeloma therapies. This rapid succession of different treatments included two clinical trials of potential new myeloma drugs; Pomalyst and dexamethasone (with cyclophosphamide added in at one point); and the combination therapy known as DCEP.
The DCEP was intended as a “bridging therapy” in preparation for a second autologous transplant, which Stephen had earlier this year. The autologous stem cell transplant was followed in June by an allogeneic transplant with stem cells donated by his sister Edie.
Unfortunately, just as his sister’s stem cells were successfully engrafting in his body, an infection that most likely had been lingering within Stephen reared its head, and it was too much of a challenge for Stephen’s still weakened immune system.
Although most of us think of Stephen as a New Yorker, he was born and raised in Washington, DC. He left the nation’s capital to attend boarding school in Connecticut, college in Massachusetts, and law school in Pennsylvania.
After law school, he initially spent time working on a presidential campaign, but then settled in New York City to start his legal career. That career eventually would involve work in city government, at two different law firms (including a private practice of his own), and as a judge.
Stephen is survived by his wife Bonnie, his three children Jacob, Sarah, and Alex, and his sisters Ruth Kramer Ziony and Edie Kramer Wilairat.
Stephen’s full obituary is available online. His funeral service was held earlier today at Riverside Memorial Chapel in Manhattan.
Reflections on Stephen’s passing and the contributions he made to the myeloma community can be found in this Beacon forum thread and in the comments on this Beacon Facebook posting from last night and on this Facebook posting today.
Shortly before his allogeneic transplant, Stephen started work on a column about the procedure. The column was never finalized, but it contained this passage that captures the courage and perseverance so often evidenced in Stephen’s writing:
One way I have learned to cope with the physical and emotional challenges of myeloma-related procedures is to imagine that I am on a climb of Mount Everest, and that the preparatory chemotherapies and autologous transplant were my trip to the base camp.
I may have twisted my ankle a couple of times on the way to the base camp, but somehow I made it. And, when I’m undergoing a difficult procedure, I fantasize that I’m reaching with an ice pick and slamming crampons into the ice as I try to pull myself up the mountain another few feet.
I have never climbed anything more difficult than a well marked trail in the Canadian Rockies. Nevertheless, this mental trick has enabled me to get through numerous difficult biopsies, infusions, and other invasive procedures without too many tears.
Climbing Mt.Everest (or undergoing an allogeneic transplant) may not be the challenge that I would voluntarily have chosen to undertake as a 66 year-old guy, but it is the challenge that has been presented to me, and I still have enough strength to try and meet it.
Onward and upward to the Everest peak itself!
Thank you, Stephen, for sharing your climb with us. May your new journey beyond the summit be full of wonder, love, and peace.
Related Articles:
- Number And Type Of Stem Cell Transplants Carried Out Each Year For Multiple Myeloma Vary Markedly Across U.S. Cancer Centers
- U.S. FDA Okays First Clinical Trial Of An Allogeneic CAR T-Cell Therapy For Multiple Myeloma
- Lather, Rinse, Repeat: Will It Work With BCMA-Targeted Therapies For Multiple Myeloma?
- ASCO 2018 Update – Expert Perspectives On The Key Multiple Myeloma-Related Oral Presentations
- Eyelid-Related Complications Of Velcade Therapy: New Insights And Recommendations
Arnie a few weeks ago, and now Stephen. I read both their articles a lot and will miss them. From the time I started reading the Myeloma Beacon, they had been challenged with relapsed and refractory myeloma and I read everything they had to say about their challenges and their personal perspectives on what they were going through. I always hoped they would find yet another way to pull through for a little bit longer and, when they did, it gave me hope that I would too someday when faced the same challenges.
I did not want to think about it but, without a cure, I knew that this day was coming and now it is here. And my lab numbers are starting to creep up. It has been a hard month to stay optimistic. Maybe the news on the monoclonal antibody trials will be something to look forward too.
Thank you for this touching remembrance. I am moved to tears, especially by the excerpt of Steve's column at the end. It is beautifully written and conveys Steve's desire to keep on living in the face of adversity. I will miss him and his writings. My deepest condolences to his family.
Now I am crying. I too have read both Steve's and Arnie's articles with much relish. Even though I am currently in CR, I know all too well how quickly this cancer can turn on you and bite. I took a lot of comfort from Steve's columns and his personal email to me when I needed information is still in my Outlook file. I treasure all the people and patients I have encountered on the Beacon.
Please pass along my prayers and sympathy to the Kramer family. I will truly miss him.
Mary
My prayers go out to his family, may he rest in peace. I remember him giving me advice before my stem cell transplant. Godspeed brother, you will be missed.
Wow! This news is another punch in the gut.
Stephen was a truly gifted writer. My favorite column of his is the one he wrote this past December. What I remember most from the column is his wonderful description of his walk through snowy Central Park as he headed to Mt. Sinai Hospital for treatment. Many of us would have had our head down, trudging through the snow, fretting about what awaited us when we got hooked up for treatment that day. Not Stephen! Instead, he was looking all around, taking in the beauty of that particular day, that moment in his life.
At the end of that column he wrote:
"Perhaps each of us who is dealing with pain and aging can read this passage from Stranger in a Strange Land, look at the sculptures, and be empowered, as I was, to separate off a bit from the physical; to park the pain and the worry in a distant corner of the mind; and to take pleasure in the joyous things that can be found within us and around us at this dark but often joyous time of year."
What tremendous advice! Stephen, here's to your walks across Central Park and your climb up Mt. Everest. You've truly been an inspiration.
Please send my deep condolences to Stephen's family and friends.
Mike
A fine tribute to this man whose words helped so many of us. The poignant comments of Eric, Linda, Mary Dee and Mark are just right, warm remembrances of Stephen's touch.
I was sorry to hear today that Robin Williams gave up on life, but I don't get it. There are enough days when the air is sweet, the sun is warm, and the one we love walks closely beside us. He never tried to reach base camp.
Stephen was quite a guy. As Mark K says, 'Godspeed, Brother!'
Both Arnie and Stephen's columns will be missed. I was so saddened to hear of both their passing. My deep condolences to both of their families. Having their support on this journey we have living with myeloma was so very helpful to me.
I want to second what Eric said. I followed both Arnie and Stephen in the Beacon ever since I found this site. Both of them had aggressive forms of MM and nothing seemed to work for long. In Stephen's case, the treatments were almost as bad as the disease itself. As with most MM victims, the weakened immune system allows an opportunistic infection that normally would not be life threatening to take root and be the final cause of death.
The battle that these two waged has been inspirational to me. They always seemed to stay positive despite the long odds they faced.
Ron
Those are very sad days, I feel like I knew both of them, the power of this site. Reading their articles month after month is like someone was reading your future. They will be missed so much, my deep condolences to their families.
I am deeply saddened by this news. Whenever I read his columns, he put me in a New York State of mind. His description of New York was always in the background of his struggles with this damn disease. I often thought of him walking through Central Park going for treatments. In a big city, one person is just another face in the crowd, but this man truly rose above the crowd. To face this disease day in and day out the way he did is a tribute to his character. My thoughts are with him and his family.
On this day most people are mourning the death of Robin Williams. A great comedian and philanthropist, yes, but he chose to leave this world voluntarily and I find that difficult to respect. Instead I mourn the death of a fighter, no, two fighters, because Arnie's death is still fresh on my mind. Both have taught me how to best face and fight this disease and how best to spend the life that I have left, however long that may be. Their fights are over and they will be deeply missed by this community. My fight has really just begun but I feel more equipped now to face it because of their contributions to this community. For that I am eternally grateful. Rest in peace, Stephen.
Stephen was a inspiration to us all. He will be sadly missed for his excellent articles. May you Rest In Peace Stephen and my prayers go out his family as well.
Steve was my cousin - a great guy who will definitely be missed. Here's the obit:
http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/nytimes/obituary.aspx?n=stephen-p-kramer&pid=172073304&fhid=2086
Thank you, Amy. We have revised the original article to include a link to Stephen's obituary.
I am so saddened by this news. He fought the good fight and lost all too so. Both he and Arnie were true myeloma heroes and I will miss both of their voices here. Sending thoughts to his family.
I will miss this inspiring man. Thank you for sharing your journey. RIP.
I am so sorry to hear of Stephen's passing. His columns meant a lot to me. May his family have some peace in knowing how much he will be missed by so many of us.
Beautifully written tribute by the Myeloma Beacon staff for another of our warriors gone. I lived in New York City many years and now I go there to see my oncologist. May your spirit linger forever in that corner of the Earth you loved so well, Stephen.
My heart goes out to Stephen's family. I will miss reading his descriptive articles and learning from him.
When I first started reading the Myeloma Beacon, I found that reading Stephen's column and reading Arnie's column gave voice to many of my thoughts, concerns, hopes and joys. Stephen generously shared this part of his life with all of us. I walk though Central Park as well on the way to my appointments and I loved his descriptions of this beautiful path to and from the hospital. I am deeply saddened by his passing and send my condolences to his family and friends. We were all enriched by his life.
I was just not expecting news like this. I have been so strengthened by Stephen Kramer's articles about his myeloma journeys. His articles were well written and usually upbeat, even though his circumstances were not. Thank you to all of the authors on the Myeloma Beacon! Your efforts have boosted the rest of us and I have benefited greatly from your writings.
Prayers and strength to Stephen Kramer's family. I know they will miss him, and I am sure they also were not expecting news like this.
Stephen was an inspirational and encouraging voice on the Beacon. He was uniquely able to express his feelings and determination for life in a way to help many others with myeloma. My sympathies to his family.
Sylvia B.
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