Late last month, a sudden cold snap swept down from the Arctic and caused tem­per­a­tures here to plunge to almost 30 degrees Fahr­en­heit (15 degrees Celsius) lower than nor­mal. From a nice warm autumn, with lovely golden leaves and even some flowers still in bloom, a heavy snowfall blanketed the land and caused a sparkly landscape. The prob­lem was that it was really cold. We scrambled to find our parkas, mitts, hats, and boots.

We had winter tires put on one of our vehicles, and my hus­band Dilip got out the snow blower we bought a couple of years ago. ecause of the injuries I sustained many years ago due to myeloma, I am not supposed to lift heavy items, so I didn’t help to lift tires on rims or clear the winter walks.

This recent incident reminded me of the many other things Dilip does for me to make my life with mul­ti­ple myeloma easier, especially now with the raging Covid-19 epi­demic. In our area, the num­ber of Covid-19 cases is now higher than it was in May.

Since my cur­rent treat­ment of Dar­za­lex (dara­tu­mu­mab), Revlimid (lena­lido­mide), and dexa­meth­a­sone causes me to be im­mune compromised, I have been even more cautious about going out now that the epi­demic is raging. I wear a mask in pub­lic and talk to friends outdoors from a safe distance. Dilip now does all our gro­cery shopping. He takes ad­van­tage of the early-morning “seniors hour” to lower his risk of exposure to the virus. He still works as a physician at a stroke rehabilitation unit, but is very careful to avoid getting this virus.

Dilip is also very con­siderate about helping me with the side effects of the drugs I take. The cur­rent treat­ment has proven to be very ef­fec­tive in treating my myeloma; I am getting close to a remission again, it seems. However, the dexa­meth­a­sone may cause what I would de­scribe as confusion, so I am not too ef­fi­cient for a couple of days a week. He drives me places, and also is good at any sort of computer or tech­ni­cal work, where I tend to make mistakes.

In addi­tion, the Revlimid can cause me to have gastro­in­tes­ti­nal issues, especially to­wards the end of the 21-day treat­ment cycle. Even though I take Olestyr (Questran, cholestyramine for oral suspension), a bile acid in­hib­i­tor, and at times also Imodium (loperamide) to man­age the issues, it can mean that I don’t feel like going out (such as going for a walk or seeing our grand­chil­dren) at the same time that Dilip does, or that I am slower to get ready in the morn­ing. He is very under­stand­ing, and we accommodate to our dif­fer­ences in schedules.

My dear spouse also reminds me to take my med­i­ca­tions, which now are quite a few since I’m cur­rently also on main­te­nance ther­apy for breast can­cer. Even though I keep a chart of med­i­ca­tions to take, I need to be reminded some­times because I noticed that I have be­come a little more forgetful over the years. Occasionally I would com­pletely forget to take my med­i­ca­tions if he didn’t remind me.

The fourth week of my treat­ment cycle, which I call ‘treatment week,’ is a little hectic for both of us. On Monday I take blood tests, Tuesday I have an appoint­ment with the oncologist, and on Wednesday I get the Dar­za­lex in­fusion at the treat­ment center. Dilip takes me to all the appoint­ments. Due to the Covid-19 pan­dem­ic, he does not always come into the can­cer center with me, but it still takes a chunk out of his day to just shuttle me back and forth.

As you may know by now, I have an extensive hobby of needle and fiber arts. I have an unending supply of projects, it seems, and I am always work­ing away on a few of them simultaneously in my spare time. These projects pro­vide me with peace of mind and give me a sense of accomplishment. Dilip is sup­port­ive of my hobby, which in turn is a blessing to me. If it makes me happy, he is happy.

At the same time, I recog­nize that I am feeling a lot better than at some pre­vi­ous times in my ‘myeloma journey.’ I there­fore try to remember that he can get tired too and make more of an effort to help him out more also. For example, I have been trying to de-clutter our home more lately since simplicity is helpful for ef­fi­cien­cy. If things over­all are running smoothly in our house­hold, we will have more time for the ac­tiv­i­ties that we enjoy.

In addi­tion, I try to give Dilip space to live his own life, since he is not a can­cer patient. He is so sympathetic that he can get too caught up in my prob­lems some­times.

We have been to­geth­er for almost 46 years now, and I don’t know how I would cope without him. We reminisce about all of the wonderful times we have had to­geth­er. We try to skip over times that were not so good, such as the med­i­cal prob­lems during the myeloma decade. But even the last decade has brought us much joy, since our family has ex­panded to hav­ing five grand­chil­dren and two wonderful sons-in-law. We work to­geth­er as a team to be grandparents, and are known as ‘Nana and Tata.’ We could not think of a nicer lifestyle.

I am really glad to be in a lifestyle where I am ap­pre­ci­ated even though I am coping with can­cer treat­ments. I cer­tainly ap­pre­ci­ate the other kind people in my life, especially my hus­band. I really don’t know how I could man­age half as well without him helping me.

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The quotation for this month is from Scott Adams (1960 – ), the creator of the Dilbert comic strip, who said: "Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end."