Living For Lamingtons: Managing Risk
Life is risky!
I know that is true and I also know that being diagnosed with multiple myeloma has altered my concept of risk.
Right from the start of my life with multiple myeloma, I became aware of taking new risks.
There was the risks associated with having a stem cell transplant. The doctors and nurses highlighted them to me. It seemed a risk worth taking, but it did make me think much more deeply about the decisions we make and the way we have to deal with the consequences.
Then there were all the drugs and the risks associated with taking them (and, indeed, with not taking them).
But the risk debate really started heating up when, after my transplant, I started to feel a bit better. There seemed to be a heightened risk in almost anything I did, anything I ate or drank, and anywhere I went. Should I go on the bus / train / plane? Should I eat some daring food such as cheese? Should I go out for coffee, or should I stay at home and eat only boiled food? Was it worth the risk?
Then, fortunately, things improved for me health-wise in that I reached remission. I relaxed a bit more, but the risk conversations continued. I felt frightened about doing things. I didn’t want to take too many risks. I felt lucky to be alive, and I certainly felt that I owed it to everyone, including myself, to try to keep well and get the most out of this new chance.
At the same time, I realized that I had to live, I had to take chances to do things. I had to take risks! I had to make decisions.
Decision such as: Should I go back to Africa and go on safari? (I did that!) Should I return to cycling? (I did that too!) I can tell that when I explain to some people what I am doing, they think I am crazy, but I don’t want to waste this remission. Doing nothing seems much riskier to me.
Often people ask me, when I describe my next adventure, whether I have checked with my doctor. I always mumble something in reply. I don’t want to ask my doctor in case he says that he wouldn’t recommend whatever it is I’m planning to do! I will take the risk myself and, I guess, pay the consequences of a mistake.
And I always bear in mind that anything can be a risk.
Recently while I was walking I fell over, cut my face, and bruised myself badly. I was at the top of a mountain, but I fell on a completely flat piece of land because I was chatting to a friend rather than paying attention to where I put my foot. I could tell that some people, when they saw my bruised face, thought that I ought not to be doing these risky things.
In December my husband and I are going back to Africa, this time to do a three-week trek in the hope of getting to Lake Turkana. The expedition is, I guess, full of risks: the terrain, the warring tribes, the heat, the possibility of infections. The list is endless! But it doesn’t feel like much of a risk to me. I feel great in the mountains, and I love African people and their land. There is nothing that I would rather do.
I think I can take the risk.
I might never have another chance to do such an amazing thing. If I turn away from the trip and take heed of the risk, I might regret that decision.
Managing risk is a constant and ever-changing challenge for those of us with multiple myeloma.
Marjorie Smith is a multiple myeloma patient and columnist here at The Myeloma Beacon. Her column is published once a month. You can view a list of her columns here.
If you are interested in writing a regular column for The Myeloma Beacon, please contact the Beacon team at .
Dear Marjorie, Thanks for so logically taking us through your thought process about risk. It is such an abrupt change for many of us patients who go from thinking we are well to having to cope with cancer. I am glad that you and your supportive husband are able to travel while you are in remission. I hope that the trip goes well and that you don't encounter any problems!
What a great column, thank you. I am always weighing the "risks" also since my stem cell transplant. My husband is much more conservative than I am at this point. He says don't do this or don't eat that. I don't want to be foolish, but at the same time I need to live my life.
I love this! Savor Africa.
Dear Nancy, many thanks for your kind words and good wishes. I hope you will be able to do some travelling before too long. Good luck in the coming weeks and happy Halloween!
Dear Susan, thanks so much for your comments. I think that you describe the balance perfectly, you don’t want to be foolish but you need to live your life. I hope that you’re able to happily do most of the things that you want to do.
Thanks, April, I will certainly do that! Best wishes to you.
Risks are always there with or without myeloma. Carpe Diem!
Great column Marjorie! You are correct, living with multiple myeloma has introduced us to risks we would never have considered before my husband was diagnosed with myeloma. Now, we weigh every activity, event, and adventure for the risks we might encounter. Some activities we have eliminated, while others we accept the increased risk to my husband’s health and do everything in our power to mitigate the risk. For example, wearing masks in crowded places, avoiding crowded elevators, and not shaking hands when greeting others. Evaluating risk is now an important part of our lives, but it can be managed.
Hi Indymike - Indeed, that’s the best way forward! Thanks.
Dear Patty - Yes, I share these activities which attempt to reduce the risks. I hope they work for your husband and you can have many lovely days together. Wishing you all the very best of luck.
Live life, that’s how I feel. Good for you to be doing just that. Risks are everywhere, but if we have the strength to live life, then more power to us all. I went to Hawaii seven months after a stem cell transplant. I am planning a cruise next February. I get several comments about taking these risks in traveling. Yes, I am going. Have a wonderful trip.
Dear Kim, many thanks for your comments. It was good to read about your trips, and I hope you have a great cruise enjoying all the new sights and adventures. Best of luck to you going forward.
Good for you! I am planning a trip to Europe with my husband, and who knows what will happen between now and then, but I'm willing to take that risk! I hope you and your husband have a wonderful time and make lots of memories. Most of all, I hope you stay healthy!
Dear Susan, I wish exactly the same good health for you and your husband. A trip to Europe should be just great, and I wish you both all the very best.
Dear Marjorie, thank you for writing your column. Some risks are worth taking! Enjoy your trip to Africa. We must live, even if we have a new "normal," living with multiple myeloma. After my stem cell transplant, I went back to teaching. I so missed my students, but I do realize "my kids" are always sick. I try to mitigate the risk of getting sick, but I so enjoy teaching.
May your trip to Africa be all that you dream it will be.
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