Although we would like to think of the winter holiday season as a jolly time, filled with good cheer, for some it is not such a happy stretch of time. For those who are sick, undergoing difficult medical treatment, or in hospital, or for those who have lost a loved one in the last year, this can actually be a sad time.

Even if a person is well, just coping with the low levels of sunlight in the north, in addition to the storms and cold weather that are common during this season, can sap one's energy.

In my own life, last Christmas was marred by two challenging events. My dear stepmother had a stroke in December, was hospitalized for a month, and then had to go to a nursing home. Although she received excellent care at the end of her life, it was still very sad for us to lose her in March.

In addition, in December and January, I had to undergo 20 radiation treatments for breast cancer. I had very good care, but the sessions were tiring, and I was worried quite a bit about the future.

If it had not been for the younger members of my family, I don’t think that we would have enjoyed the season very much at all.

Now that I am a senior citizen and at an age where more friends are starting to pass away, I find that it sometimes is difficult to maintain a positive frame of mind. In the last two months, a fellow choir member, a former neighbor, and the son of friends of ours all died due to medical conditions.

In the myeloma world, I have met many dear patients, both in person and online. Nowhere else in my life have I encountered so much heart­breaking loss. Several former Beacon columnists, who were writing when I started my own column almost five years ago, are gone now. I cannot forget Lou Ganim’s ^[1], Arnold Goodman’s ^[2], Pat Killingsworth's ^[3], and Stephen Kramer’s ^[4] contributions to The Beacon. Many other members of the Beacon community also have passed away, and frequently caregivers will post in the forum about losing a loved one.

In my local support group, we regularly lose people who are dynamic and are still helping others, even as they are losing their own battles with multiple myeloma. This is really sad news every time we hear about it.

We who have multiple myeloma know better than many that we are all mortal. Yet, in spite of the losses of our friends, we keep trying to think positively, have hope for the future, and live effectively.

About the best I can think of doing in this situation is to look after myself, and then try to reach out to others.

As I have written many times before, I find that walking outdoors is a very helpful and effective way for me to cope, especially now during the holiday season. The beauty of the season is evident in starry skies, sparkling snow, and frost covered trees. The colorful lights also enhance the winter nights.

I also find comfort in the music of the season. It can be cheerful, funny, soft, gentle, and soothing, and it usually alters my mood in a positive way.

At the same time, I think it is necessary to acknowledge sad thoughts, while trying to balance them with more cheerful ones.

I also think that it is important to share your feelings with others, and I try to do that as well. It’s not a sign of weakness to admit that you are feeling ‘down.’ In fact, it’s a good idea to try to deal with that before it can get more entrenched.

Perhaps one of the best ways to cope is to reach out to others who you know may be struggling during the holiday season. It’s a win-win because you are helping both yourself and someone else.

How do you deal with having mixed feelings during the holiday season?

I hope that the beauty, peace, and joy of this season remain in your heart all year long.

Best wishes for a happy 2018!

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The quotation for this month is from Sarah McLachlan (1968 - ), a Canadian singer and songwriter, who said: "I think often sadness is a great place to get songs from."