Something that has intrigued me since being diagnosed with myeloma myeloma is the rather odd things that some people say to me. I always think that their intentions must be good, but from time to time I have been upset and somewhat irritated by some comments.

One of the first such incidents I can remember is when, hearing of my mis­for­tune, someone asked me, “Have you tried green juices?” I was not really sure what to say; neither "yes" nor "no" seemed an adequate answer. I can­not remember what I said that first time, but I do remember that I was given a long lecture about the nutritional value of green juices and all their anti-inflammatory, anti-oxidant, antibiotic, and of course anti-myeloma health benefits. I probably said that I would give them a try.

Over the years, I have been given many such tips. I’m never sure if the tipsters are suggesting that if only I had followed the green juice, coconut water, herbal drinks, and squashed dandelion leaves regimens, I could have avoided myeloma in the first place, or if the advice is intended as a recipe to prevent myeloma relapse.

People have also proposed that I ought to avoid sugar, eat only organic foods, become vegan, and so on. Strangely, so far none of the people giving this advice have ever asked me about my current diet or future dietary plans. Actually, I love fruits and vegetables, fish and lean meats, and cakes (of course!), and I have always been a fairly healthy and non-faddy eater. I can­not say that I drink green juices every day, but I certainly enjoy the odd one from time to time. I'm sure that these suggestions are all healthy things to do, but my faith when treating my multiple myeloma is more with the medications and treatments prescribed by my myeloma consultants.

On the other hand, I do think that, despite having this diagnosis, being healthy in as many other ways as possible is a good plan, particularly as I need to be in as good shape as possible to cope with a relapse.

Then there is the stream of “I know someone with myeloma and they are fine" comments. I've been told that this person did not take maintenance therapy, or completely avoided all animal fats, or had turmeric with every meal, or even took up meditation as a Buddhist monk. Again, I am never quite sure what to say. I usually say how glad I am for this person, who I do not know, and wish them well.

I cannot really be bothered explaining multiple myeloma to some people in these circumstances. I initially tried, but I didn't find that it helped them to understand, and it didn't help me to cope with their comments.

Most of my friends have tried to understand myeloma and tend to just ask me how I'm doing and wish me well. I know they feel sad for me and, I guess, I always endeavor to sound as cheerful as possible. I enjoy hearing all the news and stories from my friends and family, and I genuinely find other people's lives more interesting than mine (well the myeloma bit anyway!). I think I'm rather guilty of diverting the chat away from my situation when I feel that things are progressing in that direction.

I love it when, from time to time, I meet people who I haven't seen for a few years, and they don't know I have multiple myeloma. Recently I spoke at a meeting and met a teacher who I hadn't seen for a while, and she just said, “Hi Marje, haven't seen you for ages, you're looking great.”

Another rather tricky type of chat is when people ask me in some way or other about my prognosis. I'm often not sure what to say. I don't like saying “when” I relapse; I prefer to say “if” I relapse. But with some people, both answers lead to problems. Both can precipitate comments such as, “Oh, but nobody knows what is ahead.” This is, of course, quite true, but I think it's fair to say that the odds of a long, healthy retirement are not exactly in my favor. I know that there is no malice in these comments, but I don't react very well to them, on the inside. I think I feel that they diminish my own situation and almost suggest that I'm making a bit of a fuss about what everyone has to bear.

It is so much easier with good friends who know a bit more and just don't go there. With them, I tend to be able to enjoy the moment and to relish all the lovely things in life that I appreciate and enjoy. I'm lucky right now, and I try to get the most of every day and every experience. I've decided it's not my job to change the world, so I just try to smile and move on.

What I have discovered is that I've got a bit of advice of my own to pass on. It is my suggestion to try pink bubbles rather than green juices!

I often sit in the evening in my room with a view, and I open a little mini bottle of pink bubbly wine. I find that the glass and a half is a wonderful way to start the evening as I celebrate, with my husband or friend or a family member, the joy of being alive and well for that day.