Northern Lights: Changing Circumstances, Changing Plans
A few years ago, I thought of retirement as an unburdened time where I would be spending a lot of time on beaches, reading, traveling the world, and watching nature. To that end, my husband and I purchased a tract of land on Vancouver Island about 20 years ago with the intention of building a retirement home there.
Somehow that plan just did not work out. We still like to visit the island, but no longer have plans of living there. In fact, we are both still not retired, even though at our ages we could be. I think that we both enjoy working still, so we decided to sell the land.
Of course, our senior years are now clouded by health issues. I am undergoing treatments for multiple myeloma, and my husband also has some health concerns. We have to attend to medical appointments at least two to three times a month. In fact, with my monthly blood draws, oncologist’s appointments, as well as visits to my family doctor, dentist, and optometrist, it seems that about once a week there is some appointment or other on the calendar.
So while we do look forward to trips and vacations, we have come to the conclusion that it is more convenient for us to live in our city of over a million people than out in the idyllic countryside, for a variety of reasons.
One of the most important reasons is easy and immediate access to quality medical care. I didn’t realize until I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma that we live in a city with a highly regarded multiple myeloma research and treatment center.
Another important reason why I like living where we do is that we love being close to our family. Both of our daughters and their husbands and children live nearby. Becoming a grandmother for the third time in July made me so grateful that I can easily see the little ones (and the grandpuppy). We also have old friends and extended family here, such as my brother and his family, and my father and stepmother. Having an international airport in Calgary keeps us close to the rest of our family, including my mother and sisters, who live in British Columbia, and Dilip’s family, who are in the United States and as far away as Australia and India.
Having lived in Calgary almost all of my life, I feel very comfortable in the city, and as far as driving goes, and I think I could be a taxi driver, since I know the city very well.
We live in a roomy bungalow with a large garden area. Whenever I think of moving to a condominium or townhouse, I think that I would miss this area. However, in the winter, there is snow to shovel, and in the summer, lawns to mow, the shrubs to prune, and flower beds to weed. Is this getting to be too much? Should we downsize our home to a smaller place? As long as we pace ourselves, this work here seems do-able, but I could see that in the future, we may decide to get a more manageable place, especially if the multiple myeloma makes me sicker again.
Even though we live in the middle of a large city, we see wildlife in our backyard and neighborhood. We have planted native trees, shrubs, and plants, and even if we are not hiking in the foothills or the mountains, we feel close to nature. I think that right now I have the best of two worlds.
So, all in all, even though I am not relaxing on the coast, taking daily walks on beaches and kayaking about, I am quite content where I am right now. My concept of ‘what is retirement’ has changed to being more realistic for my current situation.
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The quotation for this month is from Jada Koren Pinkett–Smith (1971 - ), an American actress, dancer, singer-songwriter, and businesswoman, who said: "It's not about what you tell your children, but how you show them how to live life."
Nancy Shamanna is a multiple myeloma patient and a columnist at The Myeloma Beacon. You can view a list of her columns here.
If you are interested in writing a regular column to be published by The Myeloma Beacon, please contact the Beacon team at .
Nancy
Great article on how we view retirement. My wife, son and myself moved to our retirement home on the beach 27 years ago. We decided back then that preparing for retirement when we were 40-ish was a good idea. So we built a one floor home, next to the beautiful shores of Lake Huron, and I would drive an extra 20 minutes to work through some of the most beautiful farm land on earth. 13 years after construction and my son finishing college, I pulled the plug and retired. We have enjoyed the gardens, scenery, best sunsets on the planet, and beautiful snowy winter nights in front of the wood burning fire place. Myeloma popped up 5 plus years ago and disrupted our life for about a year until I finished my year of Velcade treatments. Since then things have been close to normal, a little slower, a little more easily tired, but the revolutionary treatments with Revlimid and now Kyprolis are keeping the "normal" going.
So whatever you enjoy doing, do it. If work is enjoyable, keep doing it. In retirement, work does not stop, it just changes to something we may enjoy more. We, like you, have also been very fortunate to live near a super myeloma treatment facility in London, Ontario.
Living on Vancouver Island would have been hard for my wife and myself to turn down. We really don't like the big city any more, being former Torontonians, But don't tell anybody!
Thanks, Eric, for your comment. I have heard that the centre in London, ON, is first rate also! Haven't spent much time in Ontario, although have been through the Pearson airport many times, and to meetings in Toronto occasionally. It is a coincidence that we have been up to see your area, Kincardine, Lake Huron. It amazed me that the lake is really an inland ocean, and as you say, really beautiful country. Ottawa is a lovely city also, and am glad to have also visited there, as well as to Burlington. So, that is a good point about living here, in that we are sort of a western hub for travel.
Dear Nancy,
I enjoyed reading your article and thank you very much for sharing these thoughts and reflections. I am new to the Myeloma Beacon and I am finding it to be a most interesting and supportive network. Many of your thoughts resonate with me at the moment as our future and retirement, in particular, might not be as we had planned.
I was diagnosed with myeloma just over a year ago and have spent much of the last year in hospital either as an inpatient or as an outpatient. I have had great treatment, I am now in remission and I'm wondering quite what to do next! I am a teacher, but I don't think I will try to return to the classroom, and my husband seems ready to stop working soon. Like you, we had plans to travel to wild places and to live in a remote village in Scotland. Things seem a little different now and, in some ways, the smaller pleasures which you describe seem more important and precious.
Good luck Nancy - I will now read your previous articles and hear more of your 'story'.
Much love,
Marjorie
Thanks Marjorie for your kind words! It sounds as if you have been through a real ordeal over the past year, and I am glad to hear that you are in a remission now. I hope that continues on for a long time! And, I hope you can still visit that remote village in Scotland!
A life changing event such as having multiple myeloma was a real 'wake up call' for me and my family. I think that we are doing what works for us now, and I am enjoying my life, even though it wasn't what I had planned a few years ago!
Thanks, Nancy, for a great perspective on what is important in retirement (or close to retirement). It is good to know that you are in a location that provides excellent care for multiple myeloma patients. It is also wonderful that you are surrounded by friends and family, especially at this time in your life.
Before my husband's diagnosis, we knew very little about cancer, let alone multiple myeloma. At the time, we were so fortunate to be staying in a quasi-retirement community where so many of the residents had experience with cancer - either themselves personally or a family member. As if in unison, they all recommended that we go to the major cancer center where my husband now has his myeloma specialist. We have not looked back!
Like you and your husband, our retirement plans changed dramatically and our lives revolve around blood tests and doctors appointments. My heart breaks for the people who are unable to live near or travel to a major cancer center. We have learned that with multiple myeloma you really need to see a myeloma specialist. Looking forward to your next article. Blessings to you and your family.
Thanks PattyB for your comment! It sounds like the people living in your community are wise indeed to have suggested that you go to a major cancer centre to seek help with the multiple myeloma.
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