Northern Lights: Dreamcatchers
As early summer is upon us here in the north, the wildflowers are in bloom, and the Canada geese and their goslings walk proudly along the Bow River. In our home garden, many lilac shrubs are in full bloom, and a hawthorn tree is flowering. Soon we will have mock orange and saskatoon shrubs in bloom too. I think that June is the most beautiful month here.
As the days are getting longer, it is great to be outdoors every day for some time. My husband and I frequently walk along the Bow River’s edge.
In the past, the Bow Valley here in Alberta was inhabited by First Nations peoples who had their own mythology and legends. Even now, there are stone tipi rings to be seen on hill tops. One of the legends that has become very popular and is now in the mainstream culture is that of the dreamcatcher.
A dreamcatcher is a web made over a hoop, with feathers forming a fringe at the lower edge. The concept is that when one dreams, there are both good and bad dreams in the night air. The good dreams will pass through the web, and the bad dreams will be caught in the web and destroyed as the first rays of the sun strike them.
I had many bad dreams at the beginning of my multiple myeloma journey due to pain, worry, and the treatment side effects I experienced. The bad dreams included fears of the procedures I needed to undergo, such as bone marrow biopsies, the insertion of a central line, and the autologous (own) stem cell transplant. Worse even than bad dreams, I had nightmares concerning my crumbling bones, vertebrae, and whether or not I would even survive the myeloma for very long!
Other bad dreams I had were about the loss of friends who had multiple myeloma. Whether I met them online or in my local area, it really hurt every time someone I knew lost their battle with this cancer, and I processed the loss in my dreams.
Gradually over the years, I grew more used to having multiple myeloma, and with each year that I survived, I learned to relax more. The extreme pain I had at the time of my diagnosis due to vertebral fractures also disappeared, and with that came a return to a feeling of normalcy. If I had known seven years ago that I would be doing so well now, I am sure that my stress levels would have been lower.
With my relaxing more, my dreams shifted. Now, I have more good dreams than bad ones, and it has been easier for me to focus on other issues besides the myeloma.
For example, I dreamed about both of our daughters getting married and becoming a grandmother. Both of these dreams have become reality in the last couple of years, and this has led to much happiness.
I also dreamed about carrying on with exercising, volunteering, pursuing my hobbies, and working. I’m glad that these dreams have become reality as well. Being in a remission now also has helped me to follow these happier dreams in my life, even as the treatment of my myeloma continues.
Another good dream that I had and that has come true was that there would be advances made in the treatment of multiple myeloma. For example, I could now get subcutaneous Velcade (bortezomib), which would cause less neuropathy in my feet than intravenous Velcade. If I did not get neuropathy in my hands, I could keep up with needlework and typing.
I think I am less likely to get nightmares about the future because I have learned more about the treatment of myeloma since my diagnosis and I have more confidence in treatments working well for me. In addition, I think multiple myeloma may be becoming a chronic condition, albeit with the help of strong chemotherapies.
I still have bad dreams about my myeloma sometimes, but I find comfort in knowing that they will be caught in the web of the dreamcatcher and be destroyed with the light of the new day.
At a recent choir workshop, my fellow singers and I stood in a circle and passed a ball of yarn back and forth in the circle. The result was a circular web, which reminded me of a giant dreamcatcher. It could catch the bad dreams of all of us here at The Beacon.
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The quotation for this month is from Stephen Leacock (1869 – 1944), a Canadian teacher, political scientist, writer, and humorist, who said: "It may be those who do most, dream most."
Nancy Shamanna is a multiple myeloma patient and a columnist at The Myeloma Beacon. You can view a list of her columns here.
If you are interested in writing a regular column to be published by The Myeloma Beacon, please contact the Beacon team at .
Thanks for your latest column, Nancy! Dreams are a powerful part of who we are, and I too have had my share of fluctuating dreams since Dan's diagnosis. Here's to the sweet dream we all share – that we may all live with myeloma well, and a cure is within reach. Wishing you good health and pleasant dreams!
Thank you Tabitha! We do share this dream together of living well with myeloma.
Thanks, Nancy, for another wonderful article. I can close my eyes and almost picture the beauty you have up there in Canada. You and your myeloma journey continue to be an inspiration for us. We know all about dreamcatchers because we live down in southern New Mexico - home of the Mescalero Apaches. I hope you continue to have sweet dreams. Ours are getting better as we start to understand this myeloma journey a little more and feel confident that there are treatments our there that can help us.
Thanks for your articles. I am also from Alberta. Had my stem cell transplant August 2015 in Calgary. Was a rough time. Now on Revlimid and dex. We have plans to go to Prince Edward Island in August. Want to stay in Canada. Hopefully I'm feeling ok. I do use a cane to walk for balance. I also wear a hospital mask when out in public, and use a nasal cleanse after being around people.
Good informative articles.
Thanks
Thanks Patty B for your kind thoughts! Dreamcatchers really caught on to put up in windows, and I have seen them attached to rear view mirrors inside vehicles too!
Marg D, I hope that you gradually get stronger after the treatments and the stem cell transplant too. I use a walking stick too, sometimes, when on hills or icy walks in winter. I wished I had taken one with me a couple of weeks ago when a young coyote crossed my path as I was walking down a hill to the river! (I would have waved it to scare the coyote away.) Of course, when I did remember to take my walking stick this week, no wildlife to be seen! Coincidentally, when I was getting a blood draw taken yesterday, two nurses from the transplant unit were there too. They were pleased to hear that I was still doing well after all this time, and said that they like to know how the patients were doing, but of course really had no way of knowing that.
It is Aboriginal Day today here in Canada. It is wonderful that your column incorporates a cultural belief from First Nations. You imbue such meaning in the dreamcatcher. It's inspiring. P.S. Regarding your comment about the walking stick - take the coyote as a sign that you are a Wiley Survivor!
Nancy, such a beautiful myth, the dreamcatcher. I have a handmade one that I just moved out of my office and hung in my bedroom. The willow curves have stretched with time, so the dreams must be stretching the spaces. Since nighttime often brings worries, I will have a new thing of beauty to visualize. Thank you for that.
I have great, lightweight hiking poles that fold up that I take everywhere. My sister lives in Vancouver, and I will be visiting her for a week. We will look for aboriginal myths.
Thanks, keep writing. Maureen
Thanks, Isobel, for your comment. We have gained so much from the artworks, music and traditions of our aboriginal peoples (and also those south of the border here). The dreamcatcher is an example of that.
Maureen, your dreamcatcher sounds nice. Enjoy your time in Vancouver with your sister; there are lots of hikes there also. Even when walking on a pebbly beach, hiking poles could come in handy.
I enjoyed your article. You write beautifully.
I have not had dreams about myeloma that I can remember. But my daughter has dream catchers throughout the house. She learned about them when she was a little girl. She had some bad dreams & thoughts in the evening & the dream catchers helped her sleep!
I hope your have sweet dreams & continued success with your remission.
Thank you, Dottie K! Upon reading all of the comments I have treated myself to a red willow dream catcher with a turquoise stone, made by an Ojibwan artisan, that is smudged with sweet grass and sage! (I ordered it online, it is from Michigan.)
Nancy, Thanks for this beautiful column. Thanks also for the evocation of your garden: it sounds like just the thing to (try to) take your mind off myeloma!
Thank you Trevor! We do like gardening here – right now, weeding, pruning, and fertilizing. It is all good exercise too, in moderation. I am fortunate that my husband likes to work outdoors too, and does the heavier tasks. It poured rain this week, finally, which was helpful, since it had been overly dry here. Right now I am sharing the garden with a vole and a nest of bees! Was trying to dig up a perennial gentian and found it was protected by a bees nest. I will just leave that until autumn after the frosts.