I have been diagnosed with a terminal disease.

So have many of you. If you’re reading this, you mostly likely at least know somebody who has a terminal disease. The vast majority of you are di­rect­ly affected by this “terminal” diagnosis.

I think whoever came up with this term should get a linguistic award. "Ter­mi­nal" sounds like a very serious word, without all the hassle of the word "death."

Please don’t misunderstand. I’m not trying to make light of death or to spin a humorous anecdote out of it.

What I want us all to think about is the following: Why is death so hard?

My 75-year-old uncle has had many problems with his circulation the last five years, most likely due to the effects of 50+ years of cigarette smoking. He has had vein transplants, an amputation of his leg, and finally two major heart attacks. He is still alive, but just barely.

One of his last communications before his second heart attack was that he didn’t want to die. He was afraid. This came despite his being on and off a respirator, four weeks in intensive care, and little hope of ever leaving the hospital. Unfortunately, he has since lapsed into a comatose state and is completely unable to communicate any more. While off of the respirator now, he is unable to control any part of his body and is being kept alive through a feeding tube. He is alive, but in the technical sense of the word only.

Because of his request to be kept alive (or his fear of dying), he has placed his son in an impossible situation. Should he follow his father’s request or mercifully end his father's suffering as quickly as possible? Did my uncle really mean that he wanted his life-saving wishes to be taken this far?

It’s impossible to say for sure because my uncle and his family never got around to talking about the subject. There was nothing in writing and unfortunately only my uncle’s words in his hospital bed to go on.

Why is my uncle so afraid to die? Should death be such a taboo subject in our society?

I have traveled quite extensively in my life and have been blessed to be exposed to many ancient cultures first hand. It is my experience that our “western” culture is one of the very worst at dealing with one of the experiences we are all guaranteed to be affected by at least once. Most likely, death will touch us multiple times in our lives.

While death is rarely welcomed by any culture, many other societies on our planet are not so fearful of it. In Bali, death is considered to be a blessed release from the burdens of this life and a step towards becoming a god. The Balinese will often devote an extraordinary amount of resources towards the funeral, as it is an important celebration marking this step. Death is planned for, talked about, money is saved up for it, and at least outwardly celebrated. It is not a taboo subject.

Many Native American cultures also treat death not as something to be avoided at all costs, but instead a necessary part of life to be undertaken with dignity, respect, and the understanding that the deceased is simply taking the next step in the journey of their soul.

None of these cultures embrace death, but I think their treatment of it allows those approaching death to do so in a way that is less scary. Giving death a more prominent position in life allows the people of these cultures to have a better understanding of their end. Because we all tend to fear what we don’t understand, this knowledge – right or wrong – dissipates some of the fear.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not advocating or denouncing anybody’s religious beliefs. If anything, I think I am actually trying to make a case that our society’s general lack of a unified belief is what has led to this situation.

While I don’t believe in any one religion’s definition of what happens after death, I do believe that there is a next chapter in my existence.

I think of myself as a scientist with a firm belief in the roles of physics and chemistry in our universe. What I like to point out to my scientific and/or atheistic friends, however, is that science has not yet been able to explain to me what is beyond infinity, or what was before time. To me, this is a bridge too far for our feeble little brains and is proof that there is something bigger than our existence in this life.

This is what keeps me from staying up nights worrying about the end. I look forward to finding out what’s in the next chapter! I know I will be more afraid as it gets closer, but I am hoping my curiosity will get me over the hump.

I encourage you to give this some thought also. Undoubtedly, everybody reading this is far ahead of the average person in trying to come to grips with death. That word terminal is hanging over all of us, myeloma or not, but myeloma makes it seem a lot closer.

Take the time to share your thoughts or your conclusions with your loved ones. They will appreciate knowing what you are thinking, or they might be able to help with your concerns. I know for a fact that if we talk about death, it will become less scary.

At the very least, please be sure that you have written down how you want to be treated when the end is near. If you want to fight the grim reaper to the bitter end, that is certainly your right. Just be sure to relieve your family of the responsibility of making the determination for you.

Until it comes, try hard to seize the day. Living fully is certainly the best way of cheating death!