This month, my column is actually written by my daughter Dori, who expressed interest in writing an article from her perspective.  I am, of course, proud of her for doing this.

Dori was in fourth grade when I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma.  She is now 17 years old and a junior in high school.  She loves fashion, travel, and writing.  My number one priority is to make sure I am around for her graduation a year from now.

For those who are wondering, though, I am doing pretty well right now. The “CYCLONE” regimen seems to be working and is quite tolerable, so I am finishing up another cycle.  Then the plan, at this point, is to move on to a donor lymphocyte infusion in June.

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Being the daughter of a cancer patient is certainly a quirk to my average, 17 year-old life.

I can still vividly remember the day that my parents had told me about my Dad’s multiple myeloma diag­nosis. I was sitting up stairs with my babysitter coloring when I heard my mom call for me from the down­stairs. My parents sat me down on the couch between them, and told me that my dad was sick and would be going out of town for a while to visit some doctors.

Sure, I thought it was a bit strange, but  as a fourth grader, cancer was not something I could even compre­hend.  To be honest, it was difficult to see beyond what my mom would be packing me for snack the next day.  I had no idea that this small conversation in my life would have a big impact for the next seven years.

If I could go back and have a conversation with myself at the time I was just finding out about this “thing” called multiple myeloma, I would probably tell myself these few things:

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Arnie and Dori Goodman

First of all, this really isn’t just going to be Dad fighting this battle, we are fighting it as a family. As cliché as that sounds, it really is true. His bad days will be our bad days, and his good test results will bring a smile to our faces. We will have to stick together as a family through Thanksgivings and New Years in a small hospital room. Even though the location of these celebrations won’t be ideal, the fact that we are together to celebrate special moments should be more than you could ask for.

Also, appreciating the things that you and Dad get to do together should become more important. Appreciate some of your favorite times spent together simply getting to sit in the back yard by the pool and read. You don’t have to say much, but getting to sit together and enjoy each other’s company is what should always be the best. Also enjoy watching documentaries and TEDtalks with him or going for a walk, be it down the street or down the hall of the hospital. These little moments will end up being the greatest.

Being a teenager will be difficult because it can be hard to separate your own life from the other crazy things that go on, such as unexpected set backs in treatment, visits to the hospital, and cancelled trips and plans. Balancing schoolwork, friends, and extracurricular activities is already difficult enough. Then tack on the worry of having a sick parent, and at times it may feel really difficult to keep your head above water. But I promise, trying to keep school separate from home will be very helpful.  Although it would be easy to pull the “I couldn’t do my homework because my dad has been sick” card in every class, getting the work done (and getting that A in the class) will be that much more rewarding.

It is never easy having a sick family member, and it can sometimes be easy to feel brought down by the roller coaster ride of events that we experience. However, I think that in the end it is things like this that only make us stronger, better people. There is always good to find in the bad. My dad has inspired me to be a harder worker, a more appreciative person, and to take advantage of opportunities while they are available.

I hope you enjoyed hearing things from my point of view and that you, a family member or a friend, can read this and learn from my thoughts and experiences thus far!