One of the most common clichés in the cancer world is “one day at a time.”  However, I think that it is human nature to look ahead, to plan, to envision where you will be at a certain point in time.

We all have things that we are looking forward to: events, milestones, and trips.

I’m planning to go to Washington, D.C., in two weeks to visit my son. I’d like to take that big trip in 3 months. I’ve got that big wedding anniversary party for my parents coming up in July. My daughter graduates from high school and my son from college in a year.

Unexpected things can certainly happen to anybody at any time, such as the proverbial dropping dead of a heart attack or stepping off a curb and getting hit by a car. But for the most part, people do not factor those things in. Most people take it for granted that their lives will carry on and that they will make it to important events.

For myself and many other multiple myeloma patients, this is not the case.

Dealing with multiple myeloma, particularly at the current stage of my disease, has truly forced me to live one day at a time.

It seems that circumstances change monthly or even weekly with each new lab test or scan.  This prompts changes in the treatment plan that require either not making plans or having to cancel them.

Since my donor (allogeneic) stem cell transplant in August, I have relapsed with multiple myeloma, requiring radiation and now more treatment.  I am currently on a regimen of Kyprolis ^[1] (carfilzomib), cyclophosphamide ^[2] (Cytoxan), thalidomide ^[3] (Thalomid), and dexamethasone ^[4] (Decadron) – known as the “CYCLONE ^[5]” regimen.  So, I am back to awaiting every blood test to see if we are getting a response.

Having been off immunosuppressive therapy for a couple of months, I recently developed some chronic graft-versus-host disease requiring restarting the immunosuppressive medication Rapamune (sirolimus or rapamycin).

I must be ever vigilant for infection.

All of these factors have caused me to adopt the mantra of one day at a time.

When friends ask how things are going and what the plan is, the answer is: we are taking it one day at a time.

It’s impossible to predict what the response to treatment will be.   It’s impossible to predict when an infection will rear its head. It’s difficult to look very far into the future and impossible to plan.

There are, of course, some advantages to the ‘one day at a time’ approach.  In fact, many Eastern religions such as Buddhism emphasize the concept of trying to live one day at a time, to be living in the moment.  Sounds great, and I get it.

I’m trying to live my life as normally as possible, despite the treatments. There is no doubt that it makes me more aware of the preciousness of each day.  I try to appreciate what I have and take pleasure in the moment.  I try not to waste as much time getting angry or upset over things I cannot control.

I have to admit, though, that it would be nice to plan something more than a few weeks out and not have to worry about having to cancel or miss it because of illness, a new treatment, or worse.