Except for three months following my stem cell transplant, I have continuously been on some type of chemotherapy for my multiple myeloma for over five years.  The relentless onslaught has caused a wide variety of side effects, some serious and others inconvenient.

I have been on Revlimid ^[1] (lenalidomide) since soon after my diagnosis. It depresses my white blood cell counts to the point that I have experienced chronic neutropenia a number of times.  It has also aggravated a form of peripheral neuropathy (tingling in my lower extremities that slowly progressed to occasional pain and loss of sensation) that started years before I was even diagnosed with myeloma.

I didn’t start receiving Velcade ^[2] (bortezomib) infusions until two years or so ago.  This resulted in peripheral neuropathy symptoms of a different hue, causing numbness in my legs, arms, and other unexpected locations.

Switching last year to subcutaneous injections of Velcade helped a lot.  However, long-term Velcade use is beginning to affect my ability to walk.

Most every myeloma patient I talk to has had issues with dexamethasone ^[3] (Decadron).  But best I can tell, my on-again, off-again use of dex hasn’t left much of a mark – or has it?  Could it be contributing to the extreme spikes in my blood sugar that cause me to retain four or five pounds of water if I even look at a piece of chocolate cake?

In addition, my toenails and fingernails have become brittle, breaking from the slightest bump or snag.  My fingernails are visibly thinner and have lost their shape, becoming flat or even concave.

My hair has also become brittle, falling out much more quickly than one would expect – even at my age.  What’s left has become thin and lifeless, while at the same time sticking together in a way no comb could possibly cut through.

A few weeks back, my wife, Pattie, reminded me that our hair and nails give us a portal through which we can assess our body’s health.  If true, my body is exhibiting clear-cut signs of toxic stress.

At first glance, these are things someone on the street may not notice.  Heck, I often hear, “You don’t look sick,” and “We think you look great!”  As opposed to what, I wonder?  Dead man walking?

Kidding aside, I can spin this either way.  Yes, I am able to live a relatively normal life.  Many people who aren’t living with cancer fight their way through medical inconveniences each and every day.  And, of course, I’m grateful to even be here.

But whether it is Revlimid, Velcade, or dexamethasone, there is no question that being exposed to these drugs day-in and day-out is taking their toll on my overall health.

So why don’t I look like an extra in one of this season’s new zombie thrillers?

Well, Pattie and my local stylist, Linda, helped me find the right combination of shampoo and conditioner.  Good bye, Head & Shoulders!  Using the wrong shampoo leaves my hair as hard as a board.

I would like to report that calcium supplements have helped my nails.  But they haven’t.  However, keeping my nails extra short helps prevent them from breaking when I merely cough or sneeze.

I exercise everyday, eat lots of fresh vegetables, and take minimum doses of a lot of different vitamins and mineral supplements.  Not enough to harm, but hopefully enough to help prevent any serious deficiencies. I also make sure to eat enough protein, too.  I have even tried eating calf liver three times a week, hoping that may help reinvigorate my bone marrow.

I know I don’t get enough sleep.  Too wound-up with columns to write and places to see.  But I’m trying to meditate and get more rest.

I dress casually, since I work at home.  But I still try to be well groomed, stay positive, and remain as friendly as my fragile body will allow.

It's all part of my plan, so I can continue to hear: “You look good for an old, sick, brittle-haired, dying guy!”

Feel good and keep smiling!