Pat’s Place: Have You Thanked Your Oncology Nurses Lately?
When we were kids, I bet almost no one ever said, “I want to be an oncology nurse when I grow up!”
All nurses are important. But oncology nurses are special. To spend four or five days a week doing hands-on work with cancer patients can be a thankless job. Sure, there are lots of victories these days – patients are living longer than ever after receiving treatment for most cancers. But losing patients who have invariably become friends can’t be easy.
Most of the oncology nurses that I have gotten to know over the years have been knowledgeable, helpful, and interested in me and my wellbeing. Being close to so many patients, I can only imagine how difficult it must be when one of them dies after helping them through months or years of treatment.
I once had an emergency room nurse explain to me what she thought was the best part of her job. “I only see a patient once or twice,” she explained. “I don’t see them long enough – or often enough – to become attached. It’s easier to go home at night if someone takes a turn for the worse – or we lose them.”
Not so with most oncology nurses. They see a patient once or twice a week – or more – for months at a time.
An oncology nurse needs to be skilled with an IV needle and a wiz at understanding how a wide variety of medications are dosed and how and why they work.
But an oncology nurse is also a therapist. If chemo doesn’t help a patient, the nurse shares in the patient’s disappointment. If a patient’s veins are difficult to find and “stick,” the nurse feels the patient’s discomfort and despair. And if a patient dies, the nurse mourns the loss of a friend.
I almost always try and strike up a conversation with the nurses who help me. Many are frustrated by long hours, low pay, and time spent away from their families.
A while back, I followed along as one of my nurse’s daughters made her way through a difficult pregnancy. I remember looking forward to my twice monthly infusions so I could catch up on how her daughter was doing. When she delivered her baby almost a week after the due date, I celebrated with my nurse like I was part of the family.
That’s because I was! This woman treated all of her patients like they were close relatives. And by relatives, I mean the kind you want to spend time with – not the side of your family that you only see reluctantly at Thanksgiving!
So whether you are served by a number of different nurses at a large cancer center – or one or two at a small local clinic – take the time to get to know them. And don’t forget to say thank you for being there during the good times and bad.
Feel good and keep smiling!
Pat Killingsworth is a multiple myeloma patient and columnist at The Myeloma Beacon.
If you are interested in writing a regular column to be published at The Myeloma Beacon, please contact the Beacon team at .
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Great article, Pat! I have heard fellow chemo patients saying that coming to get infusions was one of their favorite times of the week...because they get to see their nurses! Now that says a LOT about how great oncology nurses are!!
A shout out to the greatest oncology nurse in the world...Jacy!!
Thanks, Pat!
Kris
I'm getting ready top board a plane to speak to 300 onc nurses in New Orleans early tomorrow morning. I can't wait! My short, 20 minute presentation is titled "Oncology Nurses Rock!" Fun how I set this up... Hopefully most will start reading the Beacon after I reference my column!
If there is a 'silver lining' to a cloud of illness, treatments and all that goes with having MM, it would have to be how we meet wonderful nurses and all medical people, really. They could not have been nicer as I went through the gamut of chemo, stem cell harvesting and transplant, and now regular check ups. I would also thank the technicians who take the blood samples! They seem to have a difficult, busy job too, and I like to thank them, even if getting the needles inserted hurts sometimes. It's good that you reminded us of the wonderful oncology nurses, Pat!
Fantastic stuff Pat. Onco nurses are indeed a special breed. I actually miss them when I am not being treated.
Hi Pat, I've been looking at this site for quite a while now, I was diagnosed with MM December 2009, I've had loads of ups and downs. Reading here has really helped me and I love reading your articles. When I scroll down to the comments, I get so much satisfaction, because I feel exactly the same way as all the others who have this dreadful disease. I miss the nurses too when I haven't seen them in a while or I have a break from treatment for one reason or another. I'm from England by the way, I have to say this, I live in England but I'm Scottish. I check out his site as well as the site in the UK. By the way, I never forget to thank the nurses, they are just brilliant, you have to be very special to be an oncology nurse. Thanks again Pat and good luck with your talk tomorrow.
Roberta
Nurses as part of the family experience is very true, indeed.
I had a biopsy done yesterday, and my oncologist's admin nurse was, once again, in the room and chatting with us... and this morning Beloved had a no-sugar cookie recipe in her email from that nurse.
Yes... it must be a very, very difficult job on some levels.
I'm speaking to a group of 200 oncology nurses in person--and another 200 or so by webcast tomorrow morning. I will share your thoughts and appreciation! I am pleased to share that my educational group has selected the Myeloma Beacon as one of the five "must reads" for myeloma patients. Congrats to Julie, Boris and the Beacon staff!
LOVE my oncology nurses....the first call I make when I have any problems.
I just finished speaking to the group in New Orleans. 200 onc nurses were up at 6 am to view our panel discussion. In New Orleans? Now that's dedication!
I will be eternally grateful for an Oncology nurse named Maryellen at the Nalitt Center on Staten Island (as well as all the other nurses there).During one of his follow up visits Maryellen asked my husband Stephen if we were having fun since he completed chemo for esophageal cancer.We thought about it and decided that we were not "having fun".Maryellen told us we needed to have fun and we took her suggestion to heart.We went to concerts at the Beacon theatre in Manhattan,stayed at the Beacon Hotel,traveled in limos.Altogether spent way more money than we should have but enjoyed ourselves to the max.Stephen passed away in February of this year but we had a hell of a year before he went!I do not regret one minute or one dime of the money spent.Listen to your Oncology Nurse!Have fun while you can.
Sounds like we all owe Maryellen a loud THANK YOU!
That was a great article. I am a retired nurse. I had to retire due to health issues, pancreatic cancer being one. I always had a lot of respect for oncology nurses and have worked with them when I was pulled to the oncology unit. They are great. The nurses where I get my chemo are also great. I do thank them. I appreciate what they do for me and the encouraging words I get.
I worked on a pediatric unit for many years. We had some kids with chronic illness. We also became attached to them and their families. There is nothing harder as a nurse than having a child code on you and not be able to bring them back. We hold the families to comfort them, we cry with them, we tell them what wonderful partents they have been. Unfortunately then we nurses have to move on and take care of our other patients as if nothing has happened. We want our remaining patients and family to feel as if they are special too.
I have cried myself to sleep at night after losing a child, then had to get up the next morning and go back to work. I'm glad you understand. I hope this helps other people understand too. Most nurses don't go into nursing for money. We go into it because we care. We want to take care of people and make them feel better anyway we can.
I miss nursing. It will always be in my heart. I hope once I'm feeling better I can at least volunteer somewhere. I may not be able to ever go back to full time nursing, but I can hold someone's hand and give them comfort.
Thank you for the article.
Deborah
It is nice to feel loved by the patients that you treat. They are indeed family and this article sums up pretty much how I feel about my job as an oncology nurse. To all the patients that have touched my life and the ones I have not met yet. Thank you
I'm sorry you had to leave nursing, Deborah. I bet you were one of the best! Be well...
Hi Pat:
I just wanted to thank you for all of your articles here on this site. You don't know how informative and inspirational you are to my family and me. My father-in-law is about to have his SCT next week at the Cleveland Clinic and although he doesn't do the whole "computer thing", I am able to give him positive stories and information through you. Both of your stories dealing with this cancer sound so much alike...I feel I know you through him! Thank you again for helping others like us get through this hard time; we are truly grateful. Many thanks and prayers to you!
Melissa from Ohio
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