We do not choose chronic illness – it chooses us. Being tapped on the shoulder by multiple myeloma is an invitation into a deeper experience of life, whether we like it or not.

Expressive writing is a useful practice for mining the depths of what is inside. Support groups frequently draw upon writing exercises, and studies have found that writing actually promotes true healing.

For those who want to use writing practice for self-discovery, I recommend a simple exercise beginning with the phrase “I remember.”

I remember pink and black tiled bathrooms of the 1950s.

I remember worrying about polio when I was a child.

I remember sleeping under the stars on a sandy beach in Hawaii.

I remember when I never thought about blood or bones hidden under my skin.

I remember when I did not know the difference between leukemia, lymphoma, melanoma, and myeloma.

I remember when I was three inches taller.

I remember when my hair had color.

I remember when I did not know what a chronic disease was.

Another effective phrase to begin claiming what you know is “I have learned.”

I have learned that statistics are shady, but I cannot forget that only 10 percent of myeloma patients survive beyond 10 years (and I hope that more recent studies have expanded this number).

I have learned that mindfulness meditation grounds me to what is here and now.

I have learned that no matter how much I live in the present moment, the approaching decade mark causes anxiety.

I have learned that my immune system depends upon a nutritious diet, exercise, and rest.

I have learned that using my creativity is essential to optimum health and wellbeing.

I have learned that the inevitability of death is the essence of life.

I have learned that change is highly dependable – it will happen.

A month ago I wrote about eighty-degree March weather, and today it is snowing in late April. There are many surprises and uncertainties along the way. Learning to articulate the whole story through writing taps into different parts of memory and description than ordinary conversation.

Talking to the people in your life may have certain limitations. Writing to yourself is free of restrictions. All you need is paper and pen.

Being chosen by multiple myeloma has taken me on a quiet journey that is much larger than it may appear to those around me. I have also learned that there is a great deal of mystery that cannot be explained or predicted.