Pat’s Cracked Cup: My Sea Of Sixty – Carrying On In The Uncharted Waters Of Multiple Myeloma
The month of March has been a special one in my part of the country due to the unexpected record-breaking warm temperatures. This is also my birthday month during the year I turn sixty, now fondly referred to as my “sea of sixty.”
Facing the uncharted waters of multiple myeloma at age fifty-one left me unable to visualize this far-off decade. Looking ahead required imagining too many unknowns.
Two weeks ago when I brushed snow from my windshield, I also was not imagining a picnic by Lake Erie under eighty-degree sun on the second day of spring. My sister and I found time to walk around the edge of the waterfront where the lake joins with the Niagara River and Erie Canal. The glassy dark green waters appeared to be impenetrable and murky after an iceless winter – a sea of possibility.
We settled onto a grassy spot for a leisurely lunch of tuna sandwiches, potato chips, pickles, apples, lemonade, and chocolate kisses. There was plenty of family news to catch up on and the subject of multiple myeloma was never mentioned.
Our lives have moved beyond the two times when she took time out of her busy life to travel across several states during my initial treatment in 2004. My “new normal” was once defined by frequent talk about my health. I have graduated to a newer version of normal that includes little mention of these things.
Being here to mark the end of my sixth decade and the start of my seventh makes me feel alive with energy. Sixty is not the new forty, but it is my blank canvas. I entertain the idea of a new chapter to shape as I wish. This seems to be a time for undone things, a time for “now or never” thinking.
I read about a community in India where women are given poison on their sixtieth birthday, signifying the end of their worldly usefulness. What good fortune to be here, rather than there!
Author Judith Viorst describes the milestone as “suddenly sixty.” Cathleen Rountree calls it “the age of fulfillment.” Lewis Richmond suggests taking a view of aging in “vertical time” rather than “horizontal time.” Instead of embracing the mental picture of a linear progression of life, maintain a firm hold on the present moment, the physical expression of body and breath.
The passing of hours happens whether we are paying attention or not. We have the option of living close to that intimate place where we breathe in and out. Slow down to notice more. Feel the warmth of the sun. Gaze into deep waters. Watch colors streak the sky. Contemplate more.
My friend Bobbie says each birthday is just a continuation of life. There is no need to fuss about the specifics of the number. I suppose that may also be true for living with multiple myeloma, but I tend to want to uncover exactly how things change, to break down my experience into bite-size pieces.
I will swim in my sea of sixty in much the same way as always, but I aspire to carry on with a bit more intention and effort. I will keep in mind the words spoken by Queen Elizabeth as she advised her people many years ago: “Keep calm and carry on.”
Pat Pendleton is a multiple myeloma patient and columnist at The Myeloma Beacon. You can view a list of her columns here.
If you are interested in writing a regular column to be published on The Myeloma Beacon, please contact the Beacon team at .
Hi Pat...I love your phrase 'the sea of sixty'..how apt! March is also my birthday month, and just got into another prime number, having turned sixty last year. 60 seemed a milestone, a cause for celebration, and a marker where one could look back over the good and the bad of the previous six decades (mostly good!) and look ahead to what the future might bring in one's fullness of life now.
i must say I envied you the spring weather in the east being on the news here...it's still snowing...we live in 'Narnia' here, snow, snow and more snow!! But if it were to get that warm here now, all our spring bulbs would pop up and then get frozen next month...so best to have steady winter for a few weeks yet.
Nice that you mentioned the Queen's 60th...she is a role model for us all, I think. My choir is doing a concert in her honour in June.....mostly songs from the UK.
Pat -- Steady on....and enjoy each moment more than imagining years ahead. yesterday the sky had not a cloud in it and everything here needs rain and i rather thought it will be months before our rainy season...then i awoke to rain outside on the old boat that leans against the house. lovely. just enough to water the thirsty lawns and the few flowers i've planted. it cleared so i could later go to pool aerobics and see the blue sky again. didn't even think of MM once this morning! nice column, as always. Suzanne
Hi Pat, I love the way you write and I believe you would be great at writing a book about all of this and more. I feel calm and soothed after reading your columns. Unfortunately, I got diagnosed last summer in my forties and making sixty sounds pretty darned good to me! Terry L.
Happy birthday! And congratulations on eight years of survival of this thing! I'm approaching a landmark this year too: 70. And four years survival. Hope to outlive it, hope you do too!
Julia
Happy Birthday Pat. I, like Terry, felt soothed after reading your Column. Weather was Warm here in the Midwest too last week. A couple days reached mid 80's. Thanks for sharing and stay Well.
Best Wishes
Art
Pay
I loved your last article and how you talked about celebrating life's imperfections. What a great idea! I wish I could do that and I am trying! I'm just such a perfectionist. Maybe someday and hopefully soon.
Happy Birthday Pat - I too am a March birthday. I'll be 61 tomarrow, with 2 yrs. of MM. I liked your introspective article. "Keep calm and carry on" is good advise for the MM people. I can relate to it. It is so easy to get so sucked into the anxiety of how long do I have left, that we forget to enjoy the time we have today! Hopefully I'll be reading your column for many more of your birthdays.
Hi Pat,Happy 60th, I have to echo what Terry said, I too am in my forties and am newly diagnosed, I would love to see 60. I used to be afraid to get older, now I am envyous of it. Hope to be wishing you a happy 70th in 10 yrs. Keep feeling good!
Hi Pat,
Happy birthday, and add me to the list of March babies. I like how each of the Beacon columnists has their own unique style and approach to relating their myeloma journey. I concur with Art that yours is one of the more calming, and tends to be more reflective and introspective then others - always enjoy reading it. I also liked the idea you referenced of a vertical, rather then linear view of time - this brings to mind the idea of living in the moment and expanding it up and down and to all sides without being to tied to what's gone before and what's to come.
Happy Birthday Pat
Love reading your column.
Sharon in Australia
Thanks for your column Pat.
You mention at the end of your column the phrase "Keep calm and carry on," and you attribute it to Queen Elizabeth.
I believe, however, that the phrase is neither from the current Queen Elizabeth II, nor is it from the first Queen Elizabeth, who lived in the late 1500s.
Instead, the phrase originally appeared in a poster developed by the British government at the beginning of World War II, before the start of Queen Elizabeth's reign. According to Wikipedia, the poster "was intended to be distributed in order to strengthen morale in the event of a wartime disaster." It never was distributed widely, and was largely forgotten until re-discovered about ten years ago, after which it became quite popular in Europe and in the States.
You can read more about the phrase and its history here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keep_Calm_and_Carry_On
Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday Pat! I so enjoyed your column and I also am a March birthday. Ijust turned 55, diagnosed with MM in June 2011 and in process of getting ready for stem cell harvest and SCT in April. It was inspirational to read about how far you have come and that everything does not now revolve around MM. It is hard for me to see that at the current time.
I also know what a treat that weather is where you live as my husband is from Youngstown/Lewiston and his sister lives in Tonowanda! (we visit in the beutiful summmer)
I look forward to more of your columns as I transition from SCT, recovery and looking forward to not thinking about MM everyday!
Thank you, Terry H., for pointing our the history behind the "Keep Calm" WWII era quote from the British government. I suppose the queen was a little too young at that time to be advising the people!
Thank you also to everyone else who commented and offered birthday wishes. I plan to carry on the celebration of my milestone throughout the coming months.
Pat
We're practically neighbours, Pat... I live a 15-minute walk from where the Welland Canal empties into Lake Ontario!
I appreciate your post as it gives me hope on two fronts: the fact that you've been dealing for as many years as you have, and the fact that your "new normal" includes being past it being totally focussed on Myeloma. That's a reality I am very much looking forward to.
Thanks for this Pat, I was 46 on the 24th and last September was diagnosed with solitary plasmacytoma. I've just finished a combined treatment of chemo and radiotherapy and am due an exit scan in May.
Your article is an inspiration to me as I often find myself pondering if I'll make it to my 60s.
Again many thanks
tom
Hi Pat,
Thank you for the inspiring article. I was diagnosed last year with smoldering myeloma. Just got used to that and started moving on but I just found out my IgA levels have risen significantly and I am starting to experience symptoms. For all I have read and now researching I am still lost and worried. I am glad I was lead to your article because I am wondering what is in store and will I see my "Sea of Sixty". You have helped me sleep tonight......thank you!
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