Last week I visited Wisconsin to attend the myeloma support group I had been a member of before moving to Florida almost three years ago.

My wife Pattie and I were members of the Wisconsin group for several years.  We became close friends with many of the members, and I have kept in touch with them.

It was exciting to return!  But it was also a bit “touch and go,” if you would excuse the pun.  At support groups, handshakes and hugs rule the day.

The special bond between multiple myeloma survivors and caregivers is very strong.  Even if you don’t attend support group meetings, can’t you feel it when you recognize a fellow patient at your oncologist’s office or in an infusion center?

Acknowledging these feelings is only natural.  And as expected, things were even more physical at this meeting, where I knew so many of the members but hadn’t seen them in a long time.

As I described last week ^[1] in my column, I was only 10 weeks post-stem cell transplant so I chose to wear a face mask on the airplane.  So shouldn’t I also wear a mask when in a group like this?  Shouldn’t I be discouraging physical contact?

Probably.  But wearing a mask seems so impersonal.  Had the weather been colder and it been during the cold and flu season, then I think the option of wearing a mask would have been gone and it would be a must in any crowded, public place.

I tried discouraging physical contact at my hometown meeting a few weeks ago.  I carefully positioned myself to avoid getting too close to my friends.  But a friend approached me with outstretched arms, and I knew she couldn’t be stopped or denied!  We hugged, and that broke the ice.  I was much more receptive as people filed out of the meeting.

And you know what?  I didn’t get sick!  And I sure felt a lot better!

So no—I didn’t avoid physical contact when I visited my friends in Wisconsin.

But guess what?  I did wear a mask part of the time—at least during the “hug fest.”

It was simple.  I explained why I needed to wear the mask, and I think everyone understood.

While I don’t consider myself a germaphobe, I have often wondered why gatherings of multiple myeloma folks are so physical.  Expressing the bond I described before is important.  But with a number of myeloma survivors stuck with low blood counts and compromised immune systems, common sense tells me that physical contact should be avoided whenever possible.

Shouldn’t there be some kind of fraternal non-physical exchange, like two winks and a nod, or a less risky elbow bump or something?

I’m kidding, of course.  But it does make me wonder…

Anyway, the meeting is over and I am feeling fine.  Better than fine, actually.  Those great hugs and warm handshakes really stick with a guy!

Feel good and keep smiling!  Pat