Last week I shared how my wife, Pattie, and I were both experiencing a post-stem cell transplant let-down.

I am already starting to feel better about feeling better.  I wish I could say the same for Pattie.

In addition to her post-transplant hangover, I believe Pattie is also experiencing “multiple myeloma burnout.”

Pattie isn’t very open about her feelings.  So I was surprised the other night when she shared how difficult it is for her to deal with multiple myeloma 24/7.

I think I understand how she feels.

My life is consumed with all things multiple myeloma.  I’m living it, writing about it, and helping other patients learn about and deal with it.

I didn’t choose to have multiple myeloma.  But I did choose to make it a part of my professional life.

But Pattie didn’t choose any of this.  I know if Pattie had her way, she would try and live a life as myeloma-free as possible.  But for her there is no escape.

She works with dialysis patients, many of whom have multiple myeloma, during the day.  Then she comes home to hear me talk about how I feel and how my day went, which typically includes emailing and talking with other multiple myeloma patients.

It’s multiple myeloma overload!

Now that she mentioned it, I’m a bit burned-out on the whole thing myself!

I tend to become consumed with my work.  Before my diagnosis and new career as a medical writer and full-time patient, I worked 60 hours a week in real estate.  And before that, I was a workaholic football and basketball coach.

This isn’t the first time Pattie has pointed out that I have become too focused and one dimensional.  But this is the first time it’s all about life and death.

Getting too involved with my ballplayers’ lives—and how well my team was doing—isn’t the same thing.

I tend to turn my cancer into an academic experience.  That helps me deal with the reality of my cancer.

But I’m sure Pattie is scared.  Scared for me and fearful about what a life would be like once I’m gone.

We will be celebrating our 24^th wedding anniversary next week.  I think I will declare that night a “multiple myeloma-free zone.”

I think we could both use that.

Feel good and keep smiling!  Pat