Pat’s Cracked Cup: Transplant Birthday
June is the 7th anniversary of my autologous stem cell transplant. Dates assigned to diagnosis, transplant, remission, and relapse take on special significance to multiple myeloma patients, but the transplant is often regarded as a kind of rebirth—a new birthday.
What happens when we unwind our idea of who we are to include the ongoing presence of myeloma? When I lay in the hospital bed 7 years ago, I became a different version of myself. Imagining a future this far ahead was impossible.
Our daily life has a melody all its own. Life after myeloma includes a different backbeat, a gentle drumming that may begin to get louder at any moment.
I recently experienced a problem with my foot after an ordinary day. At first I thought little of it, but when it continued to hurt after a week, I saw a doctor who told me I had a spontaneous stress fracture of the metatarsal—something that frequently happens to women.
The backbeat of my post-myeloma life knows that everything is connected. The drumming became a little louder wondering if a bone problem in my foot is related to myeloma.
I have heard about all kinds of life celebration parties for cancer anniversaries—not my style. No Hallmark card required. When one of my dates turns over on the calendar, I pause. Sometimes I wear a yellow LIVESTRONG wristband. Endurance is everything. I am grateful.
Some may feel that maintaining an ongoing connection to a medical diagnosis is morbid—negative. You’re better, right? Put the whole thing behind you—just move on.
Rudolph Steiner studied the development of the whole person in relation to their direct experience with the natural world. He determined that human beings evolve in 7-year cycles, continually building on the foundation set during the first cycle. This idea is explored in the wonderful documentary film series called "7-Up" that began in the early 1960s when a group of British school children were interviewed and observed every 7 years. The latest installment looks at the group at age 56.
Most of us have had the experience of seeing the fascinating changes in ourselves and others through snapshots and home movies. Sometimes the parts that remain the same are even more curious. I recently picked up a picture of myself taken the summer I was 7, sitting on a beach at Lake Michigan appearing full of health and potential. I see the “me” of today in that small person.
The transplant re-set all the decades, and I am back at age 7 with a different foundation under foot. The myeloma experience has given me a preview of sickness, old age, and death that awaits all beings. Learning to live on unsolid ground with unsteady footing is the lesson of this 7-year cycle.
I have been returned to the refreshing melody of daily life. Seagulls swoop and squawk outside my window. A car horn honks in the traffic below. I breathe in summer. I rest in the complete unknown of what is ahead.
Pat Pendleton is a multiple myeloma patient and columnist at The Myeloma Beacon. You can view a list of her columns here.
If you are interested in writing a regular column to be published on The Myeloma Beacon, please contact the Beacon team at .
Nice post Pat! I don't think it's morbid or negative, but I am always curious if people celebrate or are mournful. We don't remember our SCT anniversary date, but we remember our diagnosis date. Probably because it was so traumatic, being 3,000 miles apart and a whole host of other nonsense of life. We too are different people now, for the better I must say. Sometimes I feel like I have the secret to life but always wish it could be attained without such drama!
Congrats on 7 years! That, in and of itself, is very inspirational to so many of us Pat.
Thank you for that truly eloquent post, Pat.
And despite your aversion to celebration: Congrats on your 7th anniversary!
The 7-year resonance you picked up on is one I talk about all the time when I describe what's going on with my Myeloma: how the bones are, when the system is balance, fully replaced every seven years, and how the cancer alters that. I think that maybe, because of that alignment, you could reconsider and celebrate at least a little bit
Exquisite & extremely thought provoking, Pat. A diagnosis date is traumatic, but one must remember that myeloma didn't happen that very day, rather, it was ongoing for many months, maybe even years. Yet that is the date I remember. The transplant date might have been more significant (as yours has become for you) if I did not have to think about myeloma every week now in the treatment center. I can hardly forget.
Wonderful you have the luck to stay clear of myeloma after 7 years!
Breathe in summer with the windows open. Suzanne
Happy B-day, Pat! I consider mine to be the day I was diagnosed: April 3rd, 2007. But as I approach the day my cells will be infused back into my body for my first stem cell transplant, everyone here is calling day zero my new birthday. You are right--there are lots of milestones along the way. I say let's celebrate them all!!! Continued good luck- Pat
Thank you all for the comments. Milestones and good fortune may not require fanfare, but there is a lot to celebrate too.
Pat, thanks for this inspiring piece. I am going to share it with my sister, Deana, who is in round four of chemo now. Best, Deb
Beautiful words and thoughts Pat. Happy Birthday!
Good blog i just stumbled upon.
I need to get my wife, Connie, invloved in this somehow. she was diagnosed the week before Christmas 1989, and it was actually a godsend as now we knew what she had and what was ailing her for 18 months! Approaching 22 years and yes, Pat, that drum continues its beat...omnipresnt for sure; forever in the background.
God Bless,
tom
Thank you, Tom....We do need to hear more from people, such as Connie. 22 years is inspiring!