It is an exciting time for multiple myeloma patients, researchers, and physicians.  New treatment combinations and options are popping up left and right.

More treatment options mean most myeloma patients are living longer, and sometimes enjoying a better quality of life.

Most patients, but not all.  Unfortunately, multiple myeloma patients die every day from the cancer itself or from complications caused by years of chemotherapy.

A fellow survivor recently e-mailed me about an article he read about a relatively young, stem cell transplant recipient, who died less than one year following his diagnosis.  His question:  “How can this happen in 2011?”

He wondered if the doctor might be at fault—or if the patient was given bad advice. Maybe he didn’t have access to the best, newest drugs.  Perhaps he died from complications associated with his transplant—or was he just unlucky?

I responded “YES!”  Any of those things may have caused his death.  Apparently the article didn’t say.

Few would call a multiple myeloma survivor lucky.  Only a small percentage of us live more than a dozen years after our initial diagnosis.

But I feel lucky.  True, my myeloma is back and active again.  But I am alive and still able to live a relatively normal life.

But I have friends who are enduring severe cases of shingles, peripheral neuropathy (tingling and pain in the extremities), and debilitating battles with weakened bones and disintegrating vertebrae.

I do feel lucky.  And I feel guilty—let’s call it “survivor’s guilt.”

Why them and not me?  Revlimid ^[1] (lenalidomide) has worked for me.

But what about the gentleman who died less than one year after his diagnosis and transplant?  What about another young friend of mine, who is in and out of the hospital constantly? Her myeloma is aggressive and relentless.  Nothing seems to work for her.

I know lots of others in a similar bind.  Maybe the drugs or transplant worked for six months.  Maybe they didn’t work at all.

I have personally known a handful of myeloma patients who have died.  That is really hard for me.  Why them and not me?  And why do I feel so guilty?

I would like to say I have the answer to squelching survivor’s guilt.  The best I can do is to remind you to consider the alternative—and to try and make the most of the time you have left.

Writing and “giving back” works for me most of the time.  Staying busy and trying to live a fulfilling life is always a good idea—whether you have cancer or not.

So join a support group.  Give rides to fellow multiple myeloma patients who can’t drive.  Volunteer at a rehabilitation center or nursing home.  Do something special for a caregiver you know—maybe even your own.

Spirituality can also be comforting.  Acknowledging that a higher power has a plan may help you feel less guilty about living while others pass on.

Rely on friends to remind you not to feel guilty.  Heck, anyone—whether they have multiple myeloma, another form of cancer, or are in perfect health—can fall into the “trap” of survivor’s guilt.

Personally, I prefer to keep busy so that I don’t stay caught in that trap for long.

Feel good and keep smiling!  Pat