Pat's Place: Multiple Myeloma Patients, Give Yourself A Break!
I like to look over other reader's comments after I read an article here at The Myeloma Beacon.
That's exactly what I did on Tuesday after reading Sean Murray’s column, Sean's Burgundy Thread: Staying Connected To Yourself While Living With Myeloma. If you haven't read Sean's columns yet, you should—it is a really fun read.
Sean and I both tend to be very proactive and positive when dealing with our cancer.
Anyway, I have noticed lots of similar comments following both of our columns recently. The consensus seems to be that wanting to stay positive and to help our fellow patients is one thing, but incorporating these principles in one's daily life is another.
In August, I wrote a column titled, Pat's Place: Suggestions From Multiple Myeloma Patients To Help Us All Stay Positive. There were some outstanding suggestions from our fellow patients in that article. But again, sometimes reading suggestions like these only makes things worse.
You may ask, “Why can't I do what these other patients do? Why can't I feel like these people feel?
I understand! I can't speak for Sean, but my guess is—like me—Sean is just wired that way. We are both “glass half full” kind of guys!
But I bet Sean has bad days too—I know I do! We all do. It isn't easy being positive when you don't feel well or can't afford to pay for your next round of meds.
Having multiple myeloma can be a real downer! But with many of us living longer and enjoying a better quality of live, it would be a real shame for any of us to give up without a fight.
The last thing any of us need is to kick ourselves for being down or not being more like someone else. That only makes things worse.
Give yourself a break! Embrace your feelings. Mourn, get angry, or withdraw for a while if you must. But my bet is eventually you will feel good—and then you can keep smiling! Pat
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Cancer is very personal. Experiences can be quite similar and vastly different, coupled with family dynamics, personalities, finances, children, past experiences, etc. I try very hard, personally, to be sensitive to other's point of view, while maintaining what is true for me, which means sometimes, I just need to listen. But I do subscribe to a positive attitude about life in general, so it would be somewhat expected for me to maintain this during our cancer journey. For us, we are just trying not to taint our living with worrying. It takes practice, its an evolution in thinking through this process. We have down days too, but we did before cancer, and I think that's what we work on is, not having everything be viewed through cancer.
Thanks for sharing, Lori! I hope you and your husband are doing well- Pat
Pat, thanks for another great article. For us - the initial diagnosis was devastating, the side affects from treatment were at times awful, and the decision about next treatments stressful. However, the positive side -- at least it was diagnosed, the side affects were able to be managed (well, maybe not the PN), and there are options. Stay well my friend.
It isn't fair that we, as patients, must decide how to treat our own cancer. Docs have so many options, much of the responsibility falls back on us. My PN is masked by lots of daily gabapentin. I'm in denial! You stay well too- Pat
Pat,the work you and your wife do is so commendable I cannot thank you enough.It makes me feel good to read about real people and the fight and determination they have.I'm also on coumadin due to a synthetic mitral valve.I would be interested to know why you are on warfarin.Keep up the torrents of good work.
Keep well Pat
You are emblazened in my thoughts
John Burton
A fighting friend
Sydney, Australia
johnburton.oz@gmail.com
Thanks for the kind words, John! I am on warfarin to help prevent blood clots potentially caused by my Revlimid. I had a PE and spent a week in the hospital a few months after I started treatment. Good luck! Pat